InsaneJournal

When Wedge had asked her if she’d be willing to stay with Chayse so that he could actually spend some alone time with Pepper, Natasha hadn’t hesitated to say yes. She loved the little girl and spent as much time with her as she could. She convinced Steve to come along with her and they made their way over to Pepper and Wedge’s shelter. They got their instructions and after Wedge and Pepper had gone off for their walk, Natasha peeked into the crib at smiled at the baby.


“Hey you,” she said quietly. “Please stay happy while your mommy and daddy are gone. And don’t get hungry or we’re out of luck.” Natasha grinned and turned around to look at Steve. “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

***

Steve hadn't needed all that much convincing to come along while Natasha babysat Chayse. He visited the little one and her mom a couple of times since she was born, but this was the first time he'd be around kids without their parents. Even when he'd gone around to Children's Hospitals, parents and professionals were never far away. At least Natasha knew what she was doing, although that had been entirely unexpected in a really good way.


There was a fond smile playing on his lips when she turned to look at him. Steve could just picture her looking at him that way with their child in a crib. It was an unexpected thought, one he pushed away just as quickly because they certainly hadn't talked about it at all yet. "She really is," he agreed as he moved closer to the two girls. Steve stood behind Natasha and put his arms around her waist, looking down on the little girl lying in the crib they'd crafted.


"I'm glad Pepper decided to keep her." He chuckled a little, recalling his conversation with Stark in the facility in Germany. "I actually thought Tony was going to tell me they were expecting when he was trying to convince me to sign the Accords." He almost had, too, except then it came out about Wanda being under house arrest. "She'll be a great mom."


***
Natasha smiled and leaned back against him, resting her hands on top of his. “Me too. When I first got here, she told me that she was prepared to do whatever she had to do in order to keep a child even if she had to do it herself. I’m glad she didn’t have to do though. Wedge is crazy about her and I love watching him with Chayse.” She visited her friend almost every day and was glad that Pepper had had found some happiness here.


“I’m not sure but I think that was part of the problems Pepper and Tony were having. He didn’t want a family,” she turned her head so she could look up at Steve. “I could be wrong, it’s not something I’ve ever asked her about. All I care about is that she’s happy now. This place has turned out to be good for all of us.” Natasha moved one of her hands and pulled Steve down for a kiss. “I mean look at us, who would have guessed?” she said when they broke apart.


~~~~
Steve wasn't the last bit surprised by Pepper's determination. "She would never have had to do it all alone, not if you were here." He hoped that the same held true for the others of their world, but he knew better than to assume anything. What he'd been told of the previous Steve and Bucky went counter to just about everything he ever thought about.


"Wedge is a good guy," he agreed, recalling the few interactions they'd had. "And I'm sure he's been duly warned about what'll happen if he hurts either of them." Steve smirked at that, because he knew Natasha could likely murder the man and even the gods wouldn't know who'd done it. He didn't think they had anything to worry about concerning Wedge and he took the opportunity to remind himself that Tony wasn't his problem.


Kissing Natasha always felt right in a way that nothing else really did. She loved him for the man he was, not the legend or the cowl. He hadn't thought anyone could give him that without knowing the punk ass kid from Brooklyn, but she proved him wrong. "Probably some Buzzfeed article or tabloid," he replied teasingly. Although from the brief explanation of 'shipping' he got from Sam, it seemed like most people thought Clint and Natasha were an item.


"The kids were the part I thought the longest on," he admitted. "You read the reports. Kid like me? Here? What kind of life would they have on a tropical island?" At least they wouldn't have to worry about the cold, but he was still nervous.


***
“No, she wouldn’t have. I would have done whatever I could to help her and she would do the same for me.” They’d talked about it but it hadn’t been necessary because Pepper had met Wedge and he was everything she could have wished for her friend. Natasha laughed. “Oh, he’s got a pretty good idea of what would happen to him, I think. I confess that I stalked him a little bit to make sure he was on the level. Maybe more than a little bit to be honest.” She knew that some people would be shocked to know she’d done such a thing but Steve would understand. Natasha cared about her friends and she knew how much having a baby meant to Pepper.


“How in the hell do you know about Buzzfeed?” she looked at him in surprise and then glanced at the baby. “Sorry about that. I’ll watch my language.” Not that the sleeping baby had heard anything. Natasha turned around in Steve’s arms and put her arms around his waist. “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Arva wants this place to grow, she’s not going to allow anything here that could hurt the children.” She looked up at him and gave him a tender smile. “And I think they’ll have a good life. It’s different from home but that’s not a bad thing. We don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations here, we can just be us and they’ll never have to doubt that they’re loved.”


***
He understood why Natasha scoped Wedge out and appreciated that she'd done it because now he didn't have to. "See, you get to be bad cop and I'll be good cop," Steve teased. It wasn't really about being 'cops' at all and he knew that. It was just a matter of looking out for their friends and he'd do the same for whoever caught Wanda's eye, too.


"Hey! I know some things!" Steve chuckled all the same, since there was still a lot more that he didn't know. He let his arms settle around her waist loosely once she turned to face him. Being close felt comforting and it came so easily. "Do you think they'd really still be my kid? If Arva makes it so they don't get any of the diseases and illnesses I had before the serum?" It wasn't something Steve thought about in their world, but he did wonder on the island. What would the serum do? Would his children get it as well? How would it affect the mother?


"Have you thought about it at all? Having kids here?"


***
Natasha laughed and settled herself close to him. She would never have believed that she would be so comfortable with another person as to let her guard completely down yet she could with Steve and she loved that about him. “We make a pretty awesome team, you know.” She smiled up at him then her expression grew more serious as she listened to him.


“Yes, it will be your kid. Steve, the serum is not who you are. Steve Rogers is so much more than that. The diseases are wiped out for everyone, there isn’t chicken pox or measles or any of that. You are you and you will be a wonderful father.” She reached up to kiss him, her arms tightening around his waist as she did her best to show him just how amazing she thought he was. When she pulled back she said “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. When Arva came to me, I didn’t believe her at first. I didn’t believe that she could heal me and make it possible for me to have children but she told me to think about it and the next morning, I woke up and I was having a period. Which I hadn’t had since…….well since everything when I was a teenager. I knew she was real then and she came back and I said yes. I’ve always wanted a family but I never thought I could have one so I just buried it away. But yes, I want kids and I want to raise them and this is a good place. A little strange but a good place.”


There was more she wanted to say but Natasha wasn’t sure if this was the right time or if Steve would even agree. They loved each other, she knew that, and more than anything, she wanted to have children with him. She’d never even really considered it with anyone else once he arrived.


***


"I know," he replied warmly. They made a great team, but they were a better team now that they were closer to each other. Steve cared about the woman she was, the woman she let him see. In return, Steve let her in and let her see the man he was beneath the cowl and the responsibility of Captain America. She loved him for it, and that was more than he'd ever dared to hope for. The ease with which they were together illustrated just how tense and complicated things were with Peggy.


Steve smiled at her fierce defense of him and his future children, kissing her back with an equally tight hold. It seemed like most days, he learned something new about Natasha that just made him smile and care for her more. To learn about her own desire to have a child - children even - made him consider what sort of mother she would be. Less conventional than his own Ma had been, but just as fiercely protective and caring, no doubt.


"So you'd want to raise your children?" he asked, "Instead of giving him or her to Arva?" Pepper had made that choice clearly, and he wasn't surprised to hear that Natasha would prefer to raise her children. A wail interrupted their conversation and Steve looked over at Chayse with a fond smile.


"I'm sorry, sweetheart. We didn't mean to ignore you." Steve let go of Natasha to reach into the crib and pick up Chayse. He held her close in his arms and began to rock her gently back and forth.


***


Natasha smiled and reached out to take Chayse’s hand. “Don’t worry, baby, we would never forget about you.” She looked up at Steve and for a moment, she imagined that this was their child and memorized the look on his face. He would make a great father, she had no doubts about that but she pushed the thought away. They hadn’t talked about it but she couldn’t help but wonder if that was in the cards for them. She certainly hoped so.


“You have no idea how adorable you look right now,” she said, grinning at him. “And notice that Chayse seems pretty happy to be in your arms. Obviously she has good taste in men.”


***
"Yea, yea," Steve replied, blushing even as he brushed off her compliment. "Well, I haven't had any complaints so far," he added, teasing her even though they didn't really talk about who they slept with outside of each other. Steve hadn't been, but he respected her enough to not ask. He was secure in the knowledge that she loved him, so that was all he needed.


"She's so beautiful, and I can see bits of Pepper in her. I'm glad she didn't give Chayse to Arva," Steve admitted. "I kind of like the idea of spoiling her rotten the best I can." He flashed Natasha a warm grin, because he was certain she'd understand.


***
There hadn’t been anyone else for Natasha either since they’d come together but she knew the way of the island and if Steve had been with someone else, she was fine not knowing. She loved him and she knew he loved her so that was all she needed to know. “She does look a lot like Pepper, doesn’t she?” Natasha smiled. “The hair especially but she’s got her dad’s eyes. She’s going to spoiled rotten, that’s for sure.”


She brushed a hand gently over the baby’s head and then looked up at Steve. “I’m glad she kept her too. I don’t really think she ever considered that though. We both felt the same way about it. I want to be a mother, I have no idea how good I’ll be at it but I want to try. I don’t want to let Arva raise my children. No disrespect to the goddess. I don’t want to get struck by lightning or anything.”


***
That was useful information to have, but Steve did his best to not let on that he was invested in that being her answer. "I don't think Arva will hit you with a lightening bolt for wanting to raise your child," he replied easily, leaning into her so that Natasha was half pressed against him to reach the baby.


"And I think you'll be a great mom." Steve put one arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss against her temple. "You're great with Chayse. You'll only love your little one more." She'd feel different about her own children because she'd feel so close and connected to her child. Although he didn't say it, Steve couldn't help but promise to himself that he'd be there to support her every step of the way, no matter who she chose to be the father.


***


“If she was going to strike me with a lightning bolt, she probably would have done it awhile ago,” Natasha smiled, enjoying the way it felt to be so close to him and for a moment she imagined that the child he was holding was theirs for she couldn’t imagine having a child with anyone but Steve. If she were completely honest with herself, it was what she had hoped for since he’d come back to the island. He was a completely different person from the man who’d been here before and she didn’t quite understand how that all worked but the man she was standing with right now was the man she loved.


***


"Or she would've just sent you home," Steve countered with a small shrug. He wasn't worried about the Island too much, or what might happen between himself and Stark, purely because the gods and goddesses had chosen the both of them to come to this particular piece of paradise. He couldn't say that he understood it, but it was what it was and he wasn't about to risk his place now that he and Natasha had settled into something comfortable.


"I think I might be warming up to the idea of having a kid, raising them, too," he offered up after a few moments of just rocking Chayse in his arms. "I've always wanted kids. I just didn't think it was fair." There was no telling how long the serum would let him live for, and he was selfish enough to not want to have to bury his wife and kids. With the way the world was turning though, maybe it was possible. It didn't really seem like an issue on the island, though.


***


Natasha watched his face as he spoke, knowing this wasn't something he had just thought of. It was a huge decision and she hoped that she was the person he wanted to share it with. “I think Arva brings people here who might not have the chance to have children in their own worlds,” she said quietly. “Like me. I know I want this...I want to have a family.” She looked up at him and smiled.


***


The image was pretty much set in his mind now, of them having children together. Steve didn't think it was fair to her though, or to Peggy, to say anything about it now without thinking on it for a little while. He just leaned down to kiss her instead of replying, slow and gentle and full of the love he had for her. Chayse started grabbing for them after a few moments and Steve pulled back to grin.


"You think it'd be okay if we walked around outside for a bit with her?" he suggested, thinking it would be a good way to get her used to the island and it'd be nice and warm out.


***


She let herself get lost in the kiss but soon she found herself laughing against Steve’s mouth when Chayse started trying to get their attention. “She does not like being ignored,” Natasha said and kissed the baby on the head when they broke apart.


“Yeah I think that’d be good.” she turned to find the little hat that Pepper always put on her head when they were out and once that was done, she looked up at Steve. “Okay we’re ready to go but you don’t get to hog all the baby snuggles, I get some too.” With that they headed out the door and for a moment Natasha let herself give in to the fantasy that maybe soon they’d be doing this with their own baby. There wasn’t anything she wanted more.