Phil, I came here to get away from all of that. I made mistakes, I admit that, but I'm trying to own up to them. As I was then. Ultron was an attempt to quell something like New York from happening again, and it failed. The Accords were going to happen whether I was apart of it or not, and you know that.
I was trying to enter it from a stance of cooperation, negotiate some sense of autonomy, create provisions to make sure our hands weren't tied when they shouldn't be. Cap was even on BOARD until Barnes was in trouble, then that was all he could care about. The Accords were more important than Barnes, and turns out, Zemo.
Perhaps I can't see beyond my selfishness, but Cap acted on emotion rather than logic. If we fight, or ignore the Accords which were already ratified, then we'd already be labeled fugitives. I had nothing to do with that. We'd have no negotiating leverage.
What happened in Wakanda was the final straw, The Avengers couldn't say they were saving the world, that was too large of collateral damage and casualties for a problem the world couldn't see. There weren't aliens or floating cities... this was a terrorist group, and in stopping them we terrorized. That's the difference Phil. Yea, I came around to Cap's thinking when I finally learned about the super soldiers. I helped him, I helped Barnes.
And Barnes may be all of that, but you know what else he is? The murderer of my parents. Something Cap knew about and felt it was 'best' not to tell me.