She knew that, knew how strong his faith was, so strong it had sometimes intimidated her when she was dealing with the breaking of her own. She didn't like how it felt, and much as she searched for faith in something else, she couldn't find it, She couldn't share his, not after everything.
"It has to be a comfort. To never have had it shaken. Its the most horrible feeling you can ever imagine, and while I'll never ever go back to that, while I know how wrong I was. I miss...I guess I mess the feeling of it more than what it was. Does that make sense?"
She turned in his arms at the tenseness, jealousy she understood, one of the darker emotions she had been unsure if an Angel could possess. Turns out he could.
"I know what I did. I know the amount of times I abandoned you because Sam wanted something from me, the blood or attacking somewhere or whatever. I know and thats something I don't know if I can ever make up to you. He was priority in my life for so long, and he's not now. He really isn't, you come first but...at the same time, just ignoring him, just walking away forever without trying to make him understand everything that happened. That scares me, so much. Do you... what do you want me to do?"