"Hunted," he confirmed. Sam would hunt. He'd go after anything that he felt like taking on, he'd - oh no. He had forgotten. How could he forget something like that? Those were the experiences that you didn't forget! Guilt struck him hard. It was odd, unpleasantly so, how he found himself feeling terrible for the creatures that he had claimed to hate so much. God, what had he done? He couldn't lie to her. But he couldn't stand to lose her either after she had agreed to take him back. His shoulders slumped over uselessly and Sam bowed his head, fingers clasping at the back of his neck as he leaned forward and tried to console himself long enough to muster up the nerve to talk.
"I'm a murderer, too, you know." Sam kept his eyes down. He couldn't stand to look at her. "I'm not just this guy who drank demon blood all the time, I - I killed that demon." A painful pause. "When you found out...just set another one up, let him take the fall for it. I didn't even know if..." What if that stupid demon had a family? Stupid goddamn demon.
He couldn't stop now. If he did, the rest of it would never make it out.
"Then there was a bar. Killed everyone inside." His fingers were digging into his neck so badly that he thought he'd be bleeding any second now. Blood! No, shut up. "It was a stupid game. We played around. Made them suffer. And then we burned the place to the ground." And he had laughed about it after. Like it was some sort of silly joke that could be laughed at. What the fuck was wrong with him?
Sam winced. He couldn't bring himself to look at her this time.