"No, no, of course not," Claire protested immediately, "he's not gonna go back that far, he's not been like he was recently for that long."
But it put her on a mental track she hadn't been on before, searching back further than before to things Sam had done than hadn't seemed quite right. Had ending it with Heather been part of the blood drinking, or just part of the steps to doing that? Claire wasn't sure anymore.
"Look, I don't know what Sam's going to wake up and think," she said, briefly snagging the vodka bottle again to take a quick drink before passing it back, "I don't know how much of what he's said to anyone was truth and how much was lies. I don't know whether to believe that he really did what he did to protect people, or if that's just what he told himself to make it feel okay that he was drinking demon blood."
That Claire couldn't find the ready faith to believe Sam that she'd had in the past, like the conversations about people being important to him, about wanting to talk to people even when he felt he couldn't, that hurt. It told her that even when he dried out, there would still be no ready answers, no clean solutions, no certainty.
"But I don't think we should take what either of them said at face value," she continued, forcing her mind back on track. "She could have meant she was pushing him with his powers for months, not that the blood was for months. So wondering how far back it went – it'll just drive you crazy to do it right now."