But he let her, it was a familiarity she had taken with him, just something she'd said one day when he'd been too high off her blood to tell her different. She hadn't even thought of it as something that wasn't hers to say, she'd been there for him, as much as they had, she'd been there, taken him through so much. In many ways she'd been a parent the way they never had. She'd given him what he needed, hadn't she?
"Thats just hell...thats what it is. No I didn't like what she was doing but...it wasn't till she took Ben that I..."
She trailed off not knowing how to explain.
"It was all about Sam, and the fact that he was here, maybe they blamed me, who knows, But I knew I just had to keep him strong, keep him ready, he's strong isn't he? I made him strong"
She found she didn't like it when he cried.
"I know, and I never wanted that, you have to believe me I never wanted that. I just couldn't not take the chance...I know how much I hurt you, hurt them but I thought you'd all see. I thought I could make you all understand after he was free."
She tried to gauge something of his plans for her, anything. But there was nothing in his gaze to tell her
"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly, frightened but with more softness in her voice than she probably had any right to "Are you going to send me back, or...?"