"I am helping him!" Ben said, voice sharp and shaky He couldn't get in there, but the door was open, maybe... Lightening quick, he pulled out the paper the exorcism was on. That would help Sam, it would. She'd be gone and then Sam'd have to get over what was wrong with him. He'd have to.
The words were trembling and smearing strangely as he looked down at the paper. It was all blurry and he couldn't read the paper anymore. Stupid. Freaking. Faulty. Paper. It was the paper, it had to be, because he wasn't crying. It wasn't unshed tears making it hard to see.
The paper slipped from his grasp as he latched on to Castiel, the gesture somehow a mixture of struggling and clinging, all at once. "I hate her and I want her gone, I hate her, she lied about everything, everything."
It wasn't just about Sam, all of this. Ben was a pretty selfless kid when it came down to it, but what he felt went far beyond what had been done to others, went squarely to what had happened to him personally. He'd liked Ruby. He'd trusted her eventually and she'd become his best friend. He'd ended up loving her, like he loved his family. She'd been family to him.
And she'd only done all of it for Sam that he could see. Everything, all along. Ben had never known what that kind of betrayal felt like. His mom lying about who his dad was, that had been upsetting but this, what Ruby had done? Ben didn't know it was possible to hurt this much.
But the door was open. He couldn't reach her, couldn't see her, couldn't see the words to end her, but she was in there and maybe she could hear him. She wouldn't care, at all, would probably even laugh at him, but telling Castiel wasn't enough. It wasn't making this any better.
"I hate you, you stupid, lying BITCH!" he screamed. "I wish you were gone, that I'd never MET YOU!" It was then that the tears he'd been so willfully holding back broken free from his control and began to slip down his cheeks, small body shaking with anger and pain and shame that he was crying like some chick.