I don't, was the instant response, I don't want to do this at all. Tossing his bag onto the ground, just next to one of the beds, Sam stepped forward and lowered his gaze. He was keeping himself busy, pulling off the heavy jacket that Winchesters traditionally wore on colder nights like this one. Eyes down, hands busy with folding the jacket into a satisfying form, Sam didn't really say anything at first. He knew that if he told Ruby how he really felt about it all that she'd give him a few stinging words for it in return. Why did he come here if he didn't want to? Had he changed his mind about what he was doing for his family? Was he having a change of heart about everything? There would be a lot of words, mostly from her side, and Sam didn't think he'd be able to battle them back tonight. Not after a long day of contemplating the situation; pacing around, thinking over the past and future. He knew what he had to do. It was the only way, wasn't it?
Carefully placing his jacket over the arm of a nearby chair, Sam folded his arms over his chest and looked out at Ruby, shrugging. The knife was there. He had dreaded seeing it.
"Try it, I guess. Like usual. When I can't take it anymore, we'll break." Straight to business, they were. Not a normal greeting by any means at all. Maybe that would make it easier, even though Sam was thoroughly convinced that nothing truly would at this point.