"Feel better?" It was almost embarrassing, but she did. Why did violence help her deal with things? Well, she could deal with that in therapy when she was older. Stunned that Faith hadn't attacked her back, Buffy was trying to read her body language. She seemed tense but not ready to engage in a fight.
All the while, she was talking. Probably would be important to listen a bit. So she did. A different year altogether? And Jedi, Power Rangers? Faith was so official it was weird. She seemed composed, matured... You couldn't deny that.
As Angel Investigations was spoken aloud again, she found herself wincing. As though she could almost predict why Angel wasn't the one to greet her now. "...cost us Angel." Those words bounced in her head, unwilling to find a place to land.
In a war, the war she knew they'd been fighting (good vs. evil) it was bound to happen. In fact, Buffy had expected to be dead...what if there was some sort of exchange going on? No. That was ridiculous. But Angel, dead - actually dead. That wasn't news that made you want to get up the next day.
"I willingly jumped to my certain death, to save the world," Buffy said in a slow, even-tone. "But now I'm not dead, and this isn't the world I knew. I don't even know if we won. I don't know why I'm here, alive. I can't trust any of you guys, and I'm not sure I even want to. So...where's that leave me?" It was an open question, to any of them.
There was a lot of info to take in. And it seemed difficult trying to disbelieve it all. Words were filtering through. "Spike doesn't have a soul," Buffy corrected Faith, as though it were an afterthought. "I might have made a mistake about...this...maybe, but I've been in the game long enough to know that vampires don't just get souls willy nilly. He's just chipped. That's why he isn't attacking anyone. Probably biding his time, gaining everyone's trust..." Buffy felt bad. Back where she had been, Spike had been fighting right next to her, doing anything to save Dawn. "I mean, maybe. ...But he still doesn't have a soul."
Although Spike had given her the information, she addressed Faith. In a weird way, she was respecting the chain of command. Mostly she just wanted to deal with someone she felt she could read. Jack was so intensely nice, she couldn't understand it. Tenel Ka and Jacen were eerily silent - communicating without words. And Spike was being civil and thoughtful. Which was mega weird. So to Faith she talked. "If they're in Europe...then I want to go there."
She made some hand gestures to no person in particular. "I mean, it sounds like you've got things covered with your battle ship of people. Someone must be able to teleport. Or at least loan me money for a plane ticket. I'm good for it." Her tone was anxious, almost silly. She had a feeling she'd be given a reason why all of this was impossible.
Discouragedly she spoke, "If L.A. doesn't have Angel, then it's already lost. I don't want or need to stay here. How can anyone hope to win this endless battle?" She rubbed her temple. "I'm tired...just...hopelessly tired. I don't want to be here. And maybe none of you do... Apparently I don't even really know the people I think I know...And I'm sorry. But it's just not fair. This isn't like me, I'm not someone who gives up, who doesn't fight. But I just can't do this anymore. So I have to go. And if it's not Europe, well - I've never been to Vegas."
She looked directly at Jack. "If you're not against me, then will you keep me from leaving?" She opened the question to the rest of the people in the room, glancing around, issuing almost a sort of challenge. "Am I going to be stopped if I want to leave?" She wanted to know if she had free will.