When Gwen didn't pull away, Jack took that opportunity to move a pace closer, still leaving space between them. His thumb lightly rubbed her shoulder, taking this comfort thing one step at a time with Gwen. Jack hadn't meant to bring up Carys as he had, but it was to prove a point.
"And I meant it," Jack replied, giving her shoulder a slight squeeze. "I'm trying to illustrate a point is all. That was something that could have been prevented." Jack drew in a breath, lifting his head towards the ceiling of his office, as if that would keep his emotions in check. Really, when it came down to it, he was responsible for this. He had let go of Gray's hand.
Her question brought him back to earth and the conversation at hand. He swallowed hard, wishing she had stayed facing away from him. So much easier to hide, particularly as he was having issues regaining his composure.
"Every time," Jack murmured. "It's worst when it happens in front of you. Knowing you couldn't get there in time. Knowing if you had been just a little faster, you could have stopped it." All he could think of was Alex. The moment he shot himself, Jack could still feel the heat of his blood, that horrible knowledge that if he'd only moved a fraction of a second sooner. "It never leaves you. You just... learn how to go on."
[OOC: sorry. I noticed typos. And it bothered me. perfectionist? Me? NEVER! *shifty* ]