John understood all too damn well that tone, not just Sam's itself, but what it said. It was that Winchester drive and fire and stubbornness not to give up on what they'd latched on to for so long. It was the reason John had chased that damned demon for twenty plus years, it was the reason Sam clung so goddamn hard to the idea of normal – because Winchesters didn't give up.
But if being here had taught John anything, Winchesters might not give up, but sometimes they had to compromise, to give up a little of the goal to gain a lot elsewhere.
"Sammy, you can still do right by a kid, even if it's not in the traditional way," he said quietly. It wasn't John's idea situation – he hadn't kept his kids with him all those years because he believed in taking less, but he had kept them with him because he needed his boys with him as much as they needed him there, even when the life hard been too hard on them. "I know the life you and Dean had was a hard one, but you two made it out of it good men, strong and capable and with a bigger capacity to love than I ever thought you'd have without your mom there to be the one to teach that to you."
Even now, even with Mary without a call of her name in this house, talking about it was painful. In a way, it always would be, as having their family together now didn't erase the pain and emotional brutality of those years.
"And I know you don't want that life for this baby on the way, but there's a middle ground between what you hated in your childhood and the perfect ideal you're still holding so tightly too." He sighed, setting his own mug down. "It's hard, but it's time to let go of that and look at your life as it is. All of it, not just your present and future with Heather, but the thing you've been trying so hard to keep from all of us. It's a part of you and you have to adjust to that, which means you have to throw aside these restrictions you've placed on yourself for so damn long."
This wasn't about the hiding of the demon blood or the sneaking off to train, as John suspected – and part of him, in a disturbing way, even hoped Sam was because it meant Sam was still intent on controlling these powers. It was still about the fact John knew, just like Mary did, that their son wasn't happy and it was getting worse.
"But take your mom and I – we knew each other for years before we finally got married, went from friends to being closer to being in love and me proposing – and then we grew up together a little more in those five years between getting engaged and being married. Now I know this place, you can't do things that way, because it could all change or go to hell the next day, but you still have to be sure."
Reaching out, he put his hand on Sam's shoulder, eyes still on his son. "Sammy, you have to be sure that getting married is still what you want, but even more is still what you can do. Not for this baby, not for Heather, not for some ideal you can't give up, but for you as you are, as the man you'll be in the years to come. The amount of time you spend shutting down and running away or conceding without a fight – that worries your mom and I, not just for you, but for Heather too. She's a part of this family, no matter what choices you two make. But you two, you spend most of your time seeming to tell each other what you think the other wants to or should hear, not being honest. That's not the foundation of a marriage."
[ooc: that imagery just totally killed my heart, POOR SAM.]