Who:Jack Landors and Tenel Ka. What:letting go. When:Middle of the night, Thursday (or getting all technical Early Friday morning.) Where: His room then the beach where Kira was burned. Warnings: TBA.
Jack stirred. That is how it had been all week. He really should have taken T.K. up on some Jedi min tricking powers. But his mind was a place of scrambled confusion as it were. It felt like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces scattered n the ground. T.K. insisted his focus would return but it hadn't. It'd been nearly a week of recuperation and bed rest. He couldn't focus. Finally he gave up his futile attempt at sleep and pulled away the sheets, he rubbed his eyes and stood. For a moment the room spun and he was forced to reach an arm to the night stand near his bed. He could still feel the painkillers rushing through his system so at least his body didn't feel as broken as it should have.
Lana said he should keep resting, stay in bed. For a second Jack nearly considered it. But if he didn't do this now, he felt like he would risk losing himself forever. Lose what was left of his mind and honor. He left a note on the bed and got dressed, tugging his favorite leather jacket over a red shirt. And packing a duffel bag. The more he stayed inside his room like that, the more it reminded him of his prison in Lilith's warehouse. The more he couldn't stomach it and struggled not to lose the jigsaw pieces.
Thanks for everything. I know you told me to stay put. But I have to do this. Please just trust me. I'll come home soon. Promise. -love Jack
He was still in bad shape. Jack wasn't stupid enough to walk where he needed to go at least. Not like this-not with the sun down. The ranger used one of Lana's limo drivers to get to that still, silent beach and pulled off his shoes. Carefully approaching the waters edge and letting the sea foam lap at his feet.
" Um..hey Kira." Jack started out awkwardly. Having never done this sort of thing before. "She's dead." Jack felt stupid for talking aloud, uncertain. But he'd been told once that the dead could still hear. "Sam did it. All that training he went through paid off I guess. " He forced a thin smile at the dark sky, eyes focusing blearily at shining stars that right now felt no less than mockingly offensive at how tiny he felt compare to them. "You probably can't even hear me. It's stupid, this. But I just thought you should know. I thought I'd feel better once she was gone. Truth is this most I've been able to say to anyone in a long time. " He could feel his throat drying up painfully. "I don't know where to go next. " The waves rolled away and moisture stung at his eyes. "This is probably the hardest thing I have to tell you-" He paused and blinked away the liquid.
"I think I'm supposed to let go now. " He didn't talk about it much anymore, Kira's death. She was always on his mind, in his heart. But if he didn't move on the pain would destroy him from the inside. So there he was talking to the dead. Hoping he could wake up from his nightmare and remember how it felt to be alive all over again.