later on; There are worst things than death. Sam had understood the phrase for a while now. It had practically been his motto ever since Dean brought him back from the grave. However, with Dean out of hell and his life slowly circulating into a place that didn't make him entirely miserable every second of the day, Sam had thought that the saying would no longer apply to him ever again. Now, as he stood with his back turned to the Ethros possessing his father, Sam truly began to realize that it was still right there; clinging to him, repeatedly making it known that if he screwed this up, his father would be lost to that damned monster that had jammed itself down his throat forever.
He had tried to pull it before. To look inside, just as Ruby had taught him. He had to use his mind to look in and find the demon. It had taken a while for him to get that part down. That had been the easy part. Grabbing on and pulling the demon out? Sam had never endured a task that was so physically and mentally frustrating in his entire life. He had failed time and time again, each time getting closer, but never quite to the point where he knew he'd be able to finish the job. The job, in which he was supposed to pull a demon from his father's body. Except in this case, it was the demon that was doing the number on him. His head was throbbing in pain, there were blood spots splattered all over the front of his shirt, and a physical exhaustion that he really didn't understand refused to stop weighing him down. That was hardly the worst of it though. It was the demon that really got to him. The physical pain was one thing. Dealing with mere sight of his father like that? It was driving him insane. A white hot anger kept gnawing at him, and it was only getting worse and worse every time he broke away from another failed attempt. At first, he was able to ignore the demon and keep to himself. He'd mess up, turn away, and then try again when he was ready without saying much to anyone. Several turns later, he found himself a whole hell of a lot more irritated. Rather than containing his emotions, he found himself snapping at everyone around him. Telling them all to shut up and leave him alone while he backed into the corner of the room after his last attempt had even been a surprise on his part.
Fingers tightening around the bottle of asprin in his hands, Sam felt another surge of anger brush through him upon hearing the demon's words. He knew that it was stupid, taking it all personally. This was what demons did, after all. They talked. A lot. Especially when they knew that it would hurt a person. Usually he'd be able to deal with it. But it was ten times harder when the words were coming out in his father's voice. Cold, unusual, and completely off base, sure, but still his voice all the same.
"You don't know a damn thing about us," he said, slamming the bottle down so roughly that the entire table in front of him shook and rattled upon impact. Turning around, Sam muttered an, "I'm ready", before brushing past Faith, gaze trained on nothing but the demon ahead of him as he moved. He refused to look at everyone else directly. No eye contact, he had decided. Then they wouldn't really be able to see how rattled he truly was.
Stepping in front of the demon again, he stretched his arm out. Palm facing outward, Sam lifted his eyes to meet the demon's and began to use every last ounce of his strength as he attempted, once more, to pull the monster out. He would get rid of it if it killed him. However, despite that ray of shining determination, Sam found himself reaching up to clutch at his head as another wave of agonizing pain swept through his skull. Blood sweeping it's way from his nose, across his mouth, and down onto his shirt all over again, Sam turned away and threw his frustrations at the first available object: a chair. Kicking it roughly, it veered sideways and crashed to the floor. Soon after, Sam did the same. Back sliding against the wall behind him as he fell to the ground, he reached up and rubbed at the side of his head again, swearing loudly all the while.