While the others mulled about the warehouse, Sam had been outside, catching in as much fresh air before he had to return to the cramped building with everyone else. Hands pressed to the wall behind him, Sam lowered his head and closed his eyes, doing his best to stay as calm as humanly possible. Calm. How could one possibly be calm when they were about to willingly let their father get possessed by a demon just so that they could practice using their demon spawned abilities? It all sounded like some sick game. Like Yahtzee or Monopoly. They were just practicing. It was okay, no big deal. Have to practice for the big board game convention. Gotta make sure that you don't get slaughtered by the other players in the first round. Except the other players weren't geeks with too much time on their hands. It was Lilith. And this was his father.
He was inwardly against it all for so many reasons that he had only dared to voice aloud to a few people, his Dad included. John Winchester had already been possessed. One didn't come back from something like that lightly - Sam knew better than anyone, after all, he'd been possessed twice - and there were so many things that could go wrong while that demon was shoved down his throat. Ruby was certain that he was going to be able to pull the thing, with his friggin mind, but Sam wasn't quite so certain himself. Anything could go wrong. That was something that you learned being a hunter. Always prepare for the worst. Sam had done all that was possible to ensure that he'd been prepared. Holy water, mouth spoken rituals that they could try out if he really wasn't as powerful as Ruby had him chalked up to be, and last but not least, and a few other small items that he had picked up information about, but wasn't entirely certain if they'd have any impact on the demon at all. That demon wasn't going to stay in his Dad for more time than he was comfortable with, that was certain. Sam didn't give a damn if Ruby got angry. She could pitch a fit, glare, stomp her foot like an overgrown child - whatever. Sam didn't care. He's send her to hell too if she tried to keep him from protecting the man that had raised him.
'But you're not doing that, Sam, are you? You're just letting him get taken by a demon. A couple years ago, you never would have even left this up for open discussion, and now --' Sam shook his head and ran a rough hand over his face. Now he didn't have a choice. They needed to Lilith. He needed it. He never had hated someone so much in his entire life. Ripping Dean apart. Making him watch. And just laughing about it. White hot anger stung at him a the though and he had to take several more deep breaths just to push that feeling away; that same feeling that had haunted him for weeks after Dean had been dragged into Hell. Anger. Raw anger. Enough to blind a man into doing something as crazy as this?
Straightening up, Sam looked back toward the rusted door of the building ahead of him. He could hear voices, but Sam didn't want to know what they were saying. They were all backing him on this, obviously, but was it only because Dad had told them to or was it because they really did support what he was trying to do? He was afraid that they'd start saying something about him really being a monster to let it go this far. Sam was afraid to look into their eyes; if he did, he knew that he would see the truth in them. It would have been much more simple to have gone at this with just Ruby at his side, that way he wouldn't have had to worry about everyone else, but they all had their logical reasons for being there. Dean was standard procedure. He was a hunter, he was his brother, and John was his son. He belonged here. Faith was a Slayer. This was her world, these were her demons. If something went wrong, she'd be able to hold down the fort a little. Anya was doing her thing, and Heather - well, Sam was probably the most uncomfortable about her being there. But she was worried and anxious and he could tell that she didn't trust this at all. But she trusted him. And he was going to need that when things got bad in there. He was going to need her.