"You must be, if I'm going to dye your hair for her," observed ratbarf. "Speaking of which, we should probably do that. Sit tight a minute, and if anyone tries to sit on the couch, tell him no."
He disappeared to mix the Kool-Aid up into proper dying paste and returned with a bowl of it and a spray bottle which was labelled "DO NOT DRINK THIS IT IS POISON" but which was currently filled with plain water.
"You should bring her over some time," he continued. "You will need to be sitting where I can reach your head or this will be completely pointless. You should bring Mickey, too, so that he has a man to talk to and we can pretend it's a double date or something. I am going to liberate that car out of the yard soon and take a trip into the desert to try my newest Experiment in napalm, and making it a group trip for the testing and implementation of Experimental Rocket Launchers and Napalm Oranges will be shiny."