Mary Winchester (mrswinchester) wrote in parabolical, @ 2008-11-16 01:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | dean winchester, mary winchester |
Who: Mary and Dean Winchester
What: Mary goes fishing for answers armed with pie
When: Just after Mary’s shopping trip with Sam
Where: Kitchen of the apartment
Status: Surprisingly complete
Rating: Low
Though she knew that food would not always be the perfect way to reach out to the boys, for now it was working fine for Mary Winchester. She had had a nice talk with Sam after bringing him a sandwhich, and now, the next day, she planned on using the same ploy to get answers from Dean. She knew it would be easier to pry information out of his oldest, both because he was naturally so talkative, and because he seemed to be a little more at ease around her—he had barely let her out of his sight since she had arrived.
“Mmm…Mom, this is the best sandwich ever.”
Mary smiled, coming over to where Dean was talking through a huge mouthful of food. At times like this, his childish enthusiasm didn’t make him look much older than the four year old boy she remembered, and she was thankful for it. It helped her forget for a moment about all that she had missed in the lives of her children, in her relationship with her husband.
Putting her hand on the back of Dean’s neck and rubbing it, Mary laughed quietly. “Oh come on, I’m sure your father kept you fed, you boys have grown like weeds…and anyone can make a sandwich.”
“Not like this,” he insisted, then took another bite. “Mmm…never like this.”
Don’t talk with your mouth full. she almost chided, but for the moment Mary resisted. Dean was still getting used to her, and the odds were that he didn’t remember the many times she had gently reminded him of the same thing when he was only four. Besides, she couldn’t help but think that part of the reason Dean enjoyed the meal so much was because his mother had made it for him, and she couldn’t fault him for that. Instead she just kept rubbing his neck for a few minutes, then went to go refill his glass of soda.
Dean’s eyes followed Mary as she moved around the room, giving her a slightly worried look when she returned his glass. “Mom, you can sit down. You don’t have to…” he blushed slightly, unsure of what to say. “I’m not a kid, you don’t have to wait on me or anything an—“ he stopped stalking, wondering if that had come out right, if he should have pulled the ‘I’m not a kid anymore’ card so soon. “I just…”
“I know.” Her voice was soft as Mary gave her son a small smile. “I know you don’t need me to take care of you anymore, Dean Winchester, that you can do things for yourself, but I’m still getting used to having you boys around again, and it’s nice to know that I can still do things for you, even if you are a big grown man.”
Their eyes met and they both started laughing. When she put it that way Dean didn’t feel so grown up after all, and it did feel good to have his mom fussing over him again. He had questions for her, so many questions about what she had gone through trapped in the house, how she had managed to stay her and not become some sort of vengeful spirit…so much that he wanted to know, but before he could speak Mary was starting the conversation.
“So tell me about things, Dean. Tell me about how you grew up, who your first kiss was, everything.” Dean looked up, startled at the sudden questions and she grinned. “I have twenty five years to catch up on, you know.”
She grinned like Sam, and it put Dean at ease almost immediately. “You know, just the usual,” He wasn’t exactly sure what she knew and what she didn’t, and the last thing that he wanted was to say the wrong thing and upset the balance between his parents. He wasn’t stupid he knew it had to be kind of hard on them to be together again after so much. “Sammy and I went to school, we moved around a lot so we got to see lots of different parts of the country. Dad kept us fed up, taught us everything he could to keep us safe, and now we’re all here.”
Yes, Mary thought, John did a great job with the boys. They look to be relatively well adjusted, they’ve grown tall and strong, and the hunting’s not hurt them as much as I thought it might.
It would have been a lot of work for one man, to raise a six month old and a four year old all on his own. The logistics alone, of earning enough money for them, of finding the time to teach them the things they needed, and of finding time to pursue the yellow eyed creature seemed impossible. But then, what if John hadn’t done it alone? He was a good looking young man with two adorable, well mannered children, who was to say that he had not dated, had not even remarried?
The thought of another woman with her husband and sons made Mary feel intensely jealous, but she tried to resist the tempting emotion. After all, she would never expect John to live the rest of his life miserably alone, and she knew that the boys could have used someone to give a mother’s guidance to them over the years…and yet so far Sam and Dean hadn’t mentioned anyone like that. Mary couldn’t help but wonder if their silence was some sort of well intentioned attempt to shield her from the truth that John had fallen in love with someone else or remarried.
Needing the truth and knowing that her oldest son would be the most likely to give her answers when tempted with a distraction, Mary went to the refrigerator to get out an apple pie from her shopping expedition with Sam. She put a thick slice of it on a plate, and, thirty seconds later it was warm from the microwave and in front of Dean with a fat dollop of ice cream on top.
After taking a mouthful of the pie and icecream into his mouth, Dean opened his mouth and exclaimed a garbled phrase that Mary could only guess was “God, Mom, this his great.” She made a mental note to convince Dean to learn some table manners later, then decided to introduce the subject.
“So…” She said, trying to keep her voice very casual and mostly succeeding. “Your dad did an amazing job raising you two boys. Did he do it all on his own, or did some nice woman bring you guys a home cooked meal every so often? I bet he had all the girls swarming around him because of you two, you boys have always been adorable.”
It was all Mary could do not to curse aloud. What had started so casual had turned into anything but, and by the way Dean coughed and swallowed his pie quickly, she could tell he noticed too.
“No,” Dean said quietly, looking very serious all of a sudden as though he had never thought about the subject before. “Dad never dated after you. He never seemed to really notice anyone else, not the way he used to look at you.” Dean might have only been four when his mother died, but even then he knew what his parents had was pretty special.
“Oh.” Mary said quietly. “Oh..”
Oh John… She thought. Why? Why did you make yourself live alone for twenty three years? Why didn’t you give yourself a chance to move on? You deserved that much…
But then, Mary knew she had little room to speak about that topic. If she had just ‘moved on’ after the demon snapped John’s neck she never would have made the deal that led to her death…but she never would have had ten perfect years and two wonderful sons either. There wasn’t even a question in Mary’s mind that, had she the decision to make again, she would have done the exact same thing. She couldn’t imagine living her life with anyone other than John, so why would she expect him to try it?
“Finish your pie sweetheart,” Mary said, clearing her throat as she gathered a few of the empty dishes to take to the sink. She needed one moment to herself, just a moment to grip something very tightly and swallow back the tears while she thought of all that her family had lost, and then she could go back to the table, back to her son, and learn more about him again.