WHO: Mara Jade and Tenel Ka WHAT: She said they needed to talk... WHEN: a few days after the Great Ressurrection WHERE: Tenel Ka's room RATING: STATUS: COMPLETE- Log
As she had promised Mara Jade gave Tenel Ka a bit of time. While she herself was absolutely fine, save for the illness which unfortunately hadn't left when she was returned from the dead, she could guess how much strain the others had been put through. There had been many casualties during that Apocalypse and it was often harder for those left behind to pick up the pieces.
Still, patience only stretched so far and the former Emperor's Hand found herself growing both irritated and concerned with the lack of communication from the woman she considered her niece. So she went looking for her, trying first at her rooms at the hotel she was staying in.
Her lack of diplomacy showed through again when she rapped her knuckles hard against the door.
"Tenel Ka, we need to talk."
There was a pause before she spoke again, a hint of amusement in her voice.
"And don't even think about trying to pretend you're not in, I can sense you in there."
Tenel Ka had considered it, very briefly but Mara was a Jedi Master, she really had to ask Jacen to teach her that Force Hiding trick, though she suspected he wouldn't. She'd been sitting in the room for a few hours now, meditating, trying to find the focus she'd lost as the world had been plunged into chaos. Her brush with the dark had scared her more than anything else, and though Jacen didn't believe in the Dark Side he knew why what she had done was bad. It was enough. He was there for her.
But now Mara was here, there had been only so long she had been able to put off the conversation she had known was coming since before the woman had fallen vicitim to the illness that had taken so many. She stood, noticing as she passed the mirror that the bruise Anakin Skywalker had inflicted on her was fading rapidly, Jedi Healing. She moved to the door and pulled it open to revel the very much alive Mara Jade Skywalker.
"It is good to see you Mara, I apologize, I have been distracted these past few days". She did it without thinking, Falling back into the mannerisms of the Queen Mother greeting dignitaries, it was a barrier she had learned to put up when she was unnerved. And she didn't much want to have the conversation Mara did. No she wanted anything but that.
"Can I fix you a drink?"
Mara arched an eyebrow and entered the room, taking note of the all too formal mannerisms in Tenel Ka.
"Distracting for us all I think," she commented simply before reaching out and catching Tenel Ka's chin lightly, making the younger Jedi turn and look at her so she could get a proper look at the bruise. Even healing as it clearly was, it looked painful. Ignoring the comment about the drink Mara gave Tenel Ka a look, clearly telling her to explain, now.
Mara's hand on her chin made her jump, she hadn't been expecting it, nor the piercing gaze that accompnied the action.
"...I fought War. There were some battle scars"
She pulled back slightly and moved to fix drinks even without being asked, She wondered would Mara know she was lying, Tenel Ka wasn't like Jacen, she didn't have the ability to decieve so readily.
"Tea?" she asked calmly. Talking about what had happened, her fight with Anakin Skywalker, her War Induced brushes with the Dark Side, Amelia's accusations not to mention her fears for her child.
Truth be told, Mara was a little insulted at the blatant attempt at lying. She folded her arms and stared at Tenel Ka as she went to make the tea. Luke may have attempted some sort of gentle, diplomatic approach, coaxing the truth out of her, maybe even with a side helping of guilt trip. Mara did no such thing.
"Try again." She kept her gaze on Tenel Ka with a faint smirk. "The truth this time, if it's not too much trouble."
Tenel Ka shook her head, she wasn't going to be coerced that easily not even by Mara. She busied herself with making tea and finally turned meeting the woman's gaze.
"I'm under no obligation to speak of any of it you know, and frankly I don't want to. Can't we just move on to something else"
She knew it would come out eventually, Mara would just ask Anakin Skywalker, or Amelia Anakin Solo and Tahiri. But nonetheless she could be as stubborn and evasive as any Hapan when she wanted to be. And she had long since stopped being a part of the Jedi Order even if she hadn't wanted to step away.
"I'm having Green, any prefrence" she said, nodding to the various teas against the counter.
Mara felt slightly stung by the comment.
"You're not under any obligation, no," she agreed. "But I am concerned about you and it might help if you did talk about it."
Maybe she should have tried her husband's approach after all.
"I'm on your side Tenel Ka," she added, her tone slightly more gentle this time. "I just want to help you, so will you please let me?"
She didn't notice the cup slip from her hands, and so didn't have time to use the Force to keep it steady, It smashed into the counter and Tenel Ka shook her head.
"You don't trust Jacen, you said as much yourself, so why would you trust me, why would you want to help me even if I did need it?.
Her hands gripped the counter, she wasn't proud of how she'd yelled in front of everyone but she didn't for a minute regret her words.
"There is no need for concern"
Mara's expression darkened. She didn't even flinch at the smashed cup, merely kept her gaze on the other Jedi.
"I have my concerns, and yes, doubts with regards to Jacen, I won't deny that. I don't want him doing something the nephew I love would regret, or hurting his family. What I would like to do is have the chance to talk to him face to face, a chance he continually refuses to give me. And if you don't mind, I think I'll be the one to judge whether or not I'm right to be concerned about you."
She shook her head, frustrated. "Why do you continuously seem to act like we're all against you Tenel Ka?"
"And how do you think he feels. You want to 'talk' to him, work out where things went wrong, why he does...why Caedus does such terrible things. Jacen doesn't know all of it, he knows what people have told him, and frankly I would rather he never know the full extent of it. Because it wasn't him. None of it."
She found another cup and began to pour the tea.
"You want to know why he went Dark, find and ask Caedus, because Jacen won't know, he doesn't even believe there is a Dark Side."
She handed one of the cups to the Jedi Master and leaned against the counter.
"And I know you are not all against me. But until the family is in some way unified what do you want me to do. Do you know how I got this bruise Mara? Anakin Skywalker hit me, because I had the termity to agree with Jacen having ordered Anakin and Tahiri to remain indoors after Jaina had been killed. Because they would have gotten themselves killed. I asked why he had any business attacking Jacen for something he had the right to do, We argued and he hit me. Being Queen Mother of Hapes has taught me that while not everyone is against you most people are. And Anakin Skywalker is and until he apologises to Jacen there isn't a hope for any kind of unity amongst the Jedi, Mara, I am sorry to say"
Mara rolled her eyes. "Did I say I wanted to ask him how he turned to the Dark Side? For that matter, did I mention anything specifically that I wanted to mention to him? I just want to talk to him Tenel Ka, a conversation with my own nephew, is that so much to ask?"
She took the offered drink, but kept her gaze firmly on the Queen.
"I am well aware of what Jacen's views on the Force were in my time. I am also very aware of my own experiences with the Dark Side."
She was silent for a moment. It wasn't often she talked about her past as the favored assassin of Emperor Palpatine and as a Dark Jedi, but that didn't mean she'd forgotten it. Her expression darkened as Tenel Ka mentioned Anakin.
"Anakin hit you?" Her concern grew. Her father-in-law was another one she wanted to have a face to face conversation with, her memories of Darth Vader very fresh in her mind.
Tenel Ka shook her head at Mara's comments, looking down sadly "No Mara I'm afraid you don't. He was starting to question then yes but it changed after the Vong took him, after Vergere, she changed his view of the Force, that experiance changed him...and then...after the War ended, he went away for five years. I don't know where, no one does, no one bothered to find out in his lifetime ...He came back...and he was...Oh it was still Jacen, at least for the first few years, But with a burden on his shoulders that I could barely understand even as a Queen, and he was so loved after the War, so admired. He spoke such wisdom then..."
It hurt her even to remember the time before, the Swarm War, Herself, Jacen and Allana, when they in their snatched moments together had been a family.
"I suspect he was lost to us from the time he killed you...he came to me on Hapes, it must have been directly afterward and I...he was different. I just didn't let myself see it. Its why all this, here, people questioning him, Its not fair. I know how Caedus feels...in the Force I mean and I know Jacen better than most."
She sipped at her tea as she spoke,
"And yes Anakin hit me. It didn't overly suprise me, he gave in to his anger for a moment, it happens, especially I suspect when your hypocracy is revealed for all to see."
Mara shook her head slightly.
"You're right, I don't know this version of Jacen. I know the nephew I left behind and I know the Caedus I encountered. I want to know the man in between. I want to look him in the eye and see for myself who he is. That is all."
It perturbed her how quickly Tenel Ka always assumed people were out to blame Jacen. Mara simply wanted to talk to him. She knew better than most what the Dark Side meant.
Like Anakin Skywalker.
"I see." Her emotions were kept closely guarded. For Luke's sake she didn't want to think badly of the former Sith, but her past with the man made her instantly wary. "I will have to talk to him as well."
The man in between, after the Vong and after everything he'd gone through. She wondered did Jacen even want to meet her, she didn't know if he knew just what he would later do.
"Well that is of course up to him Mara, though I advise you give him time, I can only imagine how hard it must be, hearing about what he becomes, I don't know if he knows about...you"
Mara planned to speak to Anakin Skywalker and the Hapan Queen knew better than to question her plan.
"If you feel you should. But he doesn't listen to reason, speaking of Jacen's fall as if its inevitible. Who is he to speak of that. He hasn't the right"
She looked down, moving away from the counter.
"He thinks I'm a fool to stay by Jacen's side. I know he thinks it, and others probably do as well. Do you think it?"
Mara resisted the urge to shake her head in frustration.
"I appreciate the need for time, but things need to be done. And the longer they get dragged out the harder they'll be."
She could sense Tenel Ka's anger at Anakin and that concerned her too.
"I will speak to him and then see for myself if he'll listen to reason or not."
Her gaze followed the younger woman as she moved.
"I don't know if you're a fool Tenel Ka. I'm sure many thought Luke a fool to marry a former Dark Jedi like me. Or Leia a fool for loving a smuggler. All I know is my concern for you. While I hesitate to call you foolish, it does worry me sometimes. Could you, really, handle it if Anakin Skywalker was right and you were wrong?"
It was a question she had expected if not one she could welcome.
"I handled it before did I not? I know how easily he can lie to suit himself, I know he manipulated me, for months without my noticing or...at least without my wanting to notice. He would come to me on Hapes and I knew something was wrong, but because it was him and because I was in his arms, I...ignored the signs. I made excuses. But..Mara I just...I know this is not the same man, I can feel it. The Jacen here is the man I have always loved, the father of my daughter. He is not a Sith, he cannot have started down that path. This time I would know, because I won't be manipulated so easily again, I am Queen Mother to a people who pride themselves on manipulation and trechary. I understand the signs and I would not let him fall so far again. At the very least will you trust my judgement Mara? I know Anakin is wrong. I truly know that is not a forgone conclusion with Jacen, I know it in my heart"
Mara's jaw clenched slightly and she shook her head.
"That's not what I asked. I wasn't asking about your judgement, or if you thought Jacen was falling. I just asked if you could handle it if you were wrong. Not how likely it was, jut if you could. Because that's what worries me. That there is a chance you could blind yourself to the truth if you couldn't handle it."
Tenel Ka merely nodded and sipped her tea,
"I could handle it" she said simply "I'm the daughter of Tenninel Djo, a Jedi and a Queen. I can handle being wrong if I am proven to be. I would not have gotten far in life if I could not. I would not be blinded if only because I know both Jacen and Caedus, And I might not be able to sense them in the Force but I can....I know the difference, I can feel it. And a Jedi must trust their instincts yes?"
Mara nodded slightly. "Trust their instincts, yes. But be careful to not follow them blindly."
Her concern was still pretty high, but she let the subject drop for now. Until she could see Jacen for herself, she was simply arguing in hypotheticals and that would get them no where.
"What else has been going on Tenel Ka?" She asked, her tone more gentle than before. "I feel as though so much happened so quickly and I just want to know that you're ok." She sipped at her tea as she waited for the answer, sharp eyes on the other Jedi, watching for any clues.
What else had happened she wasn't ready to share though she didn't know if Mara might have suspected, she felt the worry in the Force, the concern of the other woman.
"As I said it has been hard, fighting against 'War', loosing you and Jaina, or so we believed. Its just catching up to me I expect"
Mara had probably done what she had, and worse besides in her time as an Emperors Hand. But even so Tenel Ka could not bring herself to confide in the Jedi Master, not about her attack on Sam or the methods she had employed against War. Only Jacen knew, and he would help her through it.
There was something else there. Mara could sense it and it disturbed her. But the time for pushing was gone. She didn't wish to alienate Tenel Ka any more than she already had.
"Very well," she replied simply, nodding just slightly. "Just know if you ever need to talk, I'm always here for you."
She hoped the younger woman would take note of that, maybe even accept the offer one day. Ideally not too late. But all she could do, for now at least, was offer.
"I do know that" she replied, forcing herself out of her Royal Mannerisms to offer the woman a genuine smile. "And I would so much like for us all to be a family. For Jacen to be trusted as he deserves and for Anakin Skywalker to see what he's doing, what his mistrust and hypocracy is causing. Is that so much to hope for?"
She finished her tea and the smile faded.
"I will be fine Mara, I just need some time to come to terms with everything in my own way, which Jacen would tell you is by being 'annoying and stoic about it'. I do apologise for not being more forthcoming"
"I would like that as well," Mara nodded with a small smile before she too finished her tea.
"So long as you are being merely annoying and stoic and not bottling things up," she commented gently before she moved towards the door. "I will leave you in peace then, I have said what I needed to say."
And now she had to speak to Anakin Skywalker.
"Take care Tenel Ka."
"Thank you Mara, Its been good to talk to you as always, And I'm not bottling anything up don't worry"
Tenel Ka nodded politely and followed Mara toward the door closing it behind her before leaning back against it with a sigh.
That was more complicated than it should have been. But she didn't want Mara to know the whole story. It was best if she didn't.