She couldn't feel that stab of pain and resignation that had sent her headlong and reeling into panic, but the fear of might-haves and too-lates lighted in her head a little longer. She was shaking like Serentiy did when Wash broke atmo too quickly, but then again, so was he.
Simon's arms shielded her from the vivid, paranoid images of abandonment; but not the reemerging memories and new epiphanies. River cried, and continued to do so for some time. Eventually her eyewells ran dry, and she was herself again long enough to talk.
"I lost." She said, and it was more toad than hoarse. She wiped her nose on her sleeve, and then scowled at herself for doing so.