She half shuddered, and oddly, half smiled. "Something Angelus said to me once." Even two years later she could remember it, word for word. He had that effect on people. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes focusing on the past as she quoted.
"You try to bury the pain, but you can't get the hole deep enough, can you? No matter how much you dig, it's still there. Broken shards stabbing every time you breathe, cutting you up inside. You know, there's only one way to make the pain stop. Hurt someone else."
She shook her head, coming back to the present. "Bastard was right."
Still, she met Jared's gaze, with a small, sad smile. "The people here who don't judge me for what I did are the ones who don't know how bad I let things get. It'll be the day one of the ones who knew me tell me that they don't judge me that I'll start to believe it."