Tenel Ka Djo (hapanqueen) wrote in parabolical, @ 2008-07-13 09:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | jacen solo, tenel ka djo solo |
Who: Tenel Ka Djo and Jacen Solo
What: Tenel Ka wants to trust Jacen. But there are still doubts
Where: A deserted alley near Jaina's apartment
When: At the same time as Allana is with Padme and Anakin
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
The city streets were a danger and Tenel Ka knew that Jacen had decided well for their child. Allana had to be protected from the things in this city and Jacen would have done anything to keep her safe. He'd destroyed himself believing he could fix the galaxy. That she could grow up in a time of peace. She both loved him and hated him for the things that he had done. But she needed to see him. Jaina had said that he was Jacen, her Jacen.
If that was true, then she needed to give him a chance.
She had found her way to where she'd been told he was staying, A somewhat less completely dangerous area, she wondered was that his doing. She still couldn't sense him, this didn’t surprise her, Jacen being Jacen, even back then had learned to shut people out, learned it from his cousin Ben in fact. And he'd gotten very very good at it.
But she was after all half Dathomiri. Trained by her mother and grandmother. She had other ways.
She waited, for hours. Just waited, letting Jacen come to her. She didn't need Force senses to find him. She would wait all day and all night if need be.
Jacen had stalked the night, rescuing a few hapless innocents from the even less salubrious beings that had taken to calling the dark home. It had become a habit of his to go on patrol, while Willow babysat and took a break from her own work. Though how anyone could call babysitting his daughter a break was beyond him.
As he came closer to the hotel, he allowed his sight shield to drop, but kept himself tightly drawn inside of himself, concealing his Force aura from anyone who could detect it, be they Force users or other. He wanted nothing to find its way to his daughter, but he held off on teaching her that particular technique. Allana's habit of running off to get into trouble was bad enough without having the handy tool of the Force to locate her.
Not that he was worried just now. His daughter was safe, but he...was...not....
Too late, he realized who was nearby. Perhaps, though, she had not seen him yet.
Tenel Ka had been waiting, maybe three hours, maybe more but crouched in the shadows, completely on alert, her senses stretching out to find the man she loved. Crouched beside what looked like a waste disposal she had not been threatened or attacked. Perhaps anything with good enough senses to detect her had decided that this was not the night for it.
And of course when Jacen finally did arrive home Tenel Ka saw him before she sensed him, more to the point, she saw him, as usual Jacen was hiding.
She stepped out from the shadows before he passed her by and had to pause before she spoke and find her centre again. This indeed was Jacen from before, she didn't need to sense him in the Force to tell her that, This was Jacen Solo...Not Darth Caedus, not yet. She almost threw herself into his arms but she didn't know how he'd react. Didn't know what he'd do, or what had happened to him here. What he knew of Caedus. What he would become.
So she restrained her emotions, knowing he'd have sensed her true feelings in the Force but hoping he had tact enough not to say it. She didn't want to have to tell him why those feelings scared her so now.
"Hello Jacen" she said simply her eyes meeting those of her former lover. "I think we need to speak don't you"
When would he ever learn? It was bad enough being surprised because he was too tired to detect who was nearby, but to have Tenel Ka actually spot him and ambush him like this? Bad did not even begin to cover it. Nor did embarrassing, for that matter.
Jacen was tempted to let his hand fall to his lightsaber. He did not want to take any chances, especially since the first thing his ever so loving sister had done when he arrived on this planet had been to attack him. Since he got the distinct impression Tenel Ka had likely done the same thing, he really did prefer to stay amongst the living, no matter what she and his sister had said to each other. But for now, he would pretend ignorance.
"Hello, Tenel Ka," he replied calmly. "I doubt there are many things we need to speak of. After all, I saw you only a little while ago."
"Fact" she said softly stepping just that little bit closer watching his expressions thoughtfully "But I have not seen you in quite some time Jacen"
Force help her he looked unhappy to see her, of course there was the calm, that sometimes maddening calm that he always managed to project. And yet here he was, still Jacen as Jaina had said. This was not Darth Caedus. Not yet.
She allowed herself smile, just a little.
"But we find ourselves here. In this strange city. Without Hapan Nobles calling for your head, being called instead to fight a different war., Allana is here. You look after our child in this city, Keep her safe from harm. And yet you can barely look at me Jacen."
She asked the question she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to.
"When are you from?"
Jacen's calm did not fade. He had mastered control over his facial expressions a long time ago. This really was not a conversation he wanted to have, but it seemed he would be given little choice in the matter. He knew when he had to hold his ground.
"It has been four years since the end of the Swarm Wars," he replied calmly. That should satisfy Tenel Ka well enough. He found he had about as much desire to fight Tenel Ka as he did his sister, so he would prefer avoiding that completely, if he could.
It was then that year when things had turned so dark so quickly.
But it was Jacen. Her Jacen that stood before her. He was guarded though and she suspected she knew why. Taking a sharp intake of breath she raised her arm and used the Force to unclip her lightsaber allowing it to float to the ground at his feet.
"I am not here to fight you Jacen" she told him. "You hide yourself almost by rote now, even from me. Always keeping so many secrets. Will you not let me in?."
She needed him to open himself to her, to know precisely. To know if he'd met her yet. Lumiya.
"Please?" she asked taking another step toward him arm still raised.
The direct approach, It was Tenel Ka's preferred way of dealing with things, be it Hapan planetary politics, or an enemy. Her lightsaber was out of her physical reach, but she could call it back with the Force, so there was no real disadvantage to her.
But he would trust her gesture. For the moment. "Ah, Tenel Ka, I am but a simple Jedi Knight. I have no secrets to compare to ones held by the Queen Mother of the Hapan Cluster."
Which was certainly true. It would also get him a slight advantage in that all important part of staying alive.
She allowed her smile to broaden slightly. "Ah Jacen you are many things, but never merely 'simple'. And I wonder what secrets you speak of. When have I ever truly been able to keep secrets from you? When have I wanted to?"
"I am now unarmed, I mean you no harm. I ask only that you trust me as you once did. Find me in the Force, right here before you, right now, and tell me if there is any hostile intent. Jacen Solo. You loved me, you love Allana. Trust in that love and let me in. Let me stand with you against whatever is to be faced"
She kept her mind open, her knowledge of Caedus buried as deep from him as the knowledge of the outcome had been from Jaina, though she doubted either of the Solo's would be so callous as to take it from her unwillingly. Caedus yes, but this was not yet the Sith Lord she had so despised.
"Trust me"
True enough. He had only been trying to keep her at bay for a time. He had never been anything other than complicated. Not that Tenel Ka, for all her refreshing directness, had ever been simple herself. Princess, warrior, Jedi, Queen...a complicated and tangled web.
Tenel Ka wanted a Force bond, to sense his emotions. A bond could work both ways, though. If he surprised her, he could gain access to things she wanted kept hidden, without betraying the trust in the bond. Building up a huge presence of himself from hiding, he prepared to overwhelm Tenel Ka with the one thing she had proved least resistant to. Himself.
"There are many things to be faced here," he noted, buying time. "Do you really want to feel who I am?"
She gazed at him for a moment not sure if she could believe it, He was agreeing, he was actually agreeing to reveal himself to her in the Force like he used to, No more hiding.
That had to be a good sign. He asked if she really wanted this, and she did, more than anything. She had missed Jacen so much over the last year.
"There can be nothing in your heart that would change how I feel for you. Whatever there is to face, I will do so."
She stepped forward arm held out to him. Her words were fact, it had not been until Caedus deeds had become too vile to ignore that Tenel Ka had stopped allowing herself to love him. The loathing that had replaced her love had been for Caedus. But here, in this place strange as it was, it was Jacen. The words were becoming a mantra to her
Jacen...not Caedus, You can help him, stand by him, save him from the dark.
She crossed the short distance between them, her lightsaber still on the ground and touched his arm, tenderly, stretching out to him in the Force.
"Show me..." she asked.
Jacen continued to build up his life force, waiting for Tenel Ka's vulnerable moment. He waited until she finally said the words that would indicate her defences were at their lowest ebb.
"As you wish," he replied calmly.
With that, Jacen unleashed his full strength and life, pouring everything he was into Tenel Ka. He inundated her in the depth of his mind, his incredible skills with the lightsaber, the strength of his will. He flooded her with his childhood adventures, his youthful triumphs and philosophies, his character as it warped from youth to man. He sent the feelings of their joint adolescence coursing through the bond, reminding her of things long forgotten, refreshing her with what he had been. He drowned her with the strength of his love for their daughter, revealing that he was no Sith Lord.
But he held back just enough to be able to swoop in on anything she let go.
Jacen
It was Jacen so completely, so overwhelmingly, and somehow, she didn't quite know when or how she had allowed her head to rest against his chest, her hand still in his. There was nothing of Caedus in him. She sensed emotion, love....and his love for Allana, which even still dazzled her. She was dizzy with it, with happiness and sorrow for what she had lost, and determination that she would not loose him to the dark again.
And in the deepest parts of her mind her memories raged, Han and Leia Solo, such disappointment and anger in their eyes telling her of Kashyyyk. Burning forests, devastation, the hundreds of thousands of Corellians captive, a dream once so pure and good so corrupted. Stolen moments, changes in him she's forced herself not to notice, to brush off because he was there, with her.
Luke Skywalker...broken, so broken and Mara's final push through the Force, holding her body to the world long enough to prove a point...and then finally, finally an act so cruel and vicious Tenel Ka was sure she had felt her heart break.
...like being murdered and surviving.
She closed the memories off as quickly as they had been opened and focused on the good. Focused on Jacen. She could help him, save him. She would stand by his side as she should have done before, she would keep him to the light.
She let the bond flow over her, through her, Thoughts only of Jacen, the man she had always loved.
It should have bothered Jacen somewhat that he had used such a trick on Tenel Ka. It should, But the memories he had sifted from her exploding emotions alarmed him. His parents' rage. The burning of Kashyyyk, a world he held dear because it had given him Chewbacca. The increased darkness within him that revealed a greater power.
But Luke, battered and broken...Mara, dead at his hands...Tenel Ka's betrayal of him....it all felt very harsh, very debilitating, very wrong. But Jacen let none of it show. In that secret place he had created, even within the bond, he concealed it, preventing Tenel Ka from knowing that he knew.
Instead, he embraced her, being careful to keep his facial expression calm. Time enough to process everything later.
Tenel Ka in the embrace of the man she so loved allowed herself to relax, possibly fully for the first time since shed gotten to this place. She knew Jaina's worries, Knew they were well founded. But this felt right to her. Felt like maybe there was a chance for them. She would help him.
"I am glad to have found you here" she told him, not wanting to move, not wanting to pull back. "Do you trust now that I have no ill intent toward you?"
Jacen kept his arms around Tenel Ka, retreating further behind his emotional shields even as he concealed his actual feelings. Keeping his face hidden for the moment, he put a casual, relaxed tone into his voice.
"Of course, Tenel Ka. I feel no hostile intent in you. I trust that you have no wish to harm me."
Right now.
And just as quickly he was putting the shields in place, she understood. An outpouring of emotion like that would have been felt through the Force. They stayed as they were for a time her Force senses allowing her to experience the lingering feelings from the bond. The brilliant bright presence that had always been Jacen to her.
"Fact" she told him and finally, grudgingly lifted her head to face him, leaving the comfort of his embrace.
"Thank you for allowing that. You didn't have to, but it has given me more than I believe you can know." She still held his hand in hers.
"We should perhaps leave the streets" she suggested "There is still much I need to learn about this city"
"Indeed there is," Jacen replied. "For now, follow me."
He would not trust Tenel Ka. He knew she had betrayed him from the timeline she came from, and he was less than enthusiastic about leaving his back open to another backstab from a source he had never expected it from. But for now, he would simply watch his flanks, and make sure she did not get another chance for treason.
He moved away from Jaina's place, moving at a quick clip. Not enough to tire himself out even further, but quick enough that there would be no time for more conversation.
She followed, willingly, gladly, calling her lightsaber back to her and clipping it back in place, she caught up, easily matching his pace, eyes and senses open for danger. She had never liked when he went so quiet. That look in his eyes.
"I have lodgings, a hotel not far from here. It will suffice for our purposes, if, you wish to join me there..."
He agreed and together they turned toward her hotel.
She would do whatever it took. He might have been on the verge of the dark, as Anakin Skywalker had said, But he would not, could not fall. She didn't know what she would do if she failed.