"The life of a Jedi is not an easy one. For anyone. There are some species who take to the lifestyle much better than others. As humans, it is difficult for us to place so much faith and feeling into something which, on the whole, is invisible. It's hard to set everything else aside, love, friends, family, and commit to an ideology. An ideology which serves everyone else and places us last."
Obi-Wan could understand that. He wasn't the perfect example of what a Jedi should be. And he would be the first to admit that. He knew he would never be able to fully become one with the Force. He would try. Every moment of his life he would strive for that. But he doubted that it would happen.
Even if he had 900 years to pledge to meditation and dedication to the Force like some species had, he would still fall short. Because he was human. Jedi, yes. But human, too.
And sometimes there were things he wanted more than the Force. He didn't act on these wants. But they were still there.
"You know ... I was very close to never becoming a Jedi."
It wasn't something he shared willingly very often. In fact, he couldn't recall the last time he'd told someone. Probably some sad Youngling who felt he was the worst of his grade. But he felt that Jaina might appreciate the sentiment. And maybe, in some way, it would help her to understand herself and Obi-Wan.
"In my time, you had to be chosen as a Padawan by your thirteenth year. After that you were sent to some other service corps division. Late into my twelfth year, I had not been chosen. I watched as all of my friends and companions, with whom I'd grown up with, go off with their Masters, while I stayed behind. When Qui-Gon Jinn came to the Temple, I thought he was my last chance to prove that I was worthy of being trained. But he declined to train me."
Obi-Wan smiled as he remembered it. Funny how he could look back at that moment now and find it amusing. He had been absolutely devastated at the time.
"He said I was too dangerous."
Did that sound a little familiar? Everyone had said the same of Anakin. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why Obi-Wan insisted on taking him on as a learner.