He listened to her shouting and accusations, knowing that part of what she said was true. It was not so much a meticulous well thought out plan, but a subconscious one. He could not deny that part of him had wanted true death. For a while he thought the Paladin could be the one to defeat him and finally give him the peace he deserved. He already knew his desire for peace was selfish, but his desire to keep Integra from hurting more than necessary was also a selfish desire he had.
"From the time you awoken me, I have only ever served you!" he snapped, finally. "I've done more at your command, than I ever did for your father and grandfather combined!"