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anthony goldstein has a chart for this. (logiclogiclogic) wrote in pandorarpg,

Despite the fact that it wasn't intentional -- or, at least, Michael said it wasn't intentional -- Anthony couldn't help feeling at least a little guilt-tripped. Because he felt like he was making things more difficult for Michael by not just agreeing with his notion, no matter how mental he found it. And it was hard because no one in Anthony's family had died, and he didn't know what it meant to have that in his history, how it felt. And he didn't want to. He didn't think anyone in their right mind would ever want to. It didn't even matter that he never particularly liked his family very much, just so long as he never had to deal with any of them dying. Not even Sophia, which was saying a lot as he couldn't stand her half the time.

Michael had, though, and he couldn't argue over Michael feeling the way he felt. It was just... there. And he had his right, even if Anthony still didn't completely agree with it. But that was the point, he guessed then. Anthony might not be making declarations about his ability to continue living without him or anything of the sort, but Anthony was very sure about needing Michael around.

He thought on it for a moment, pursing his lips. He wished he could tell Michael that he hadn't failed before and that he wasn't failing now and wouldn't be even if -- but it would be fruitless. There had been too many years, and this was not the conversation he wanted to be having anymore. It had already gone nowhere good, and he really couldn't afford for it to go anywhere worse.

"All right," he said, almost murmuring after a long moment, shrugging. Louder, then, he again said, "All right." It wasn't all right, not really, but for Anthony, part of being a best mate was in letting them win for the moment, save the argument for another day.