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lavender is sure that living is worse (lavishly) wrote in pandorarpg,

Lavender nearly whimpered, recoiling at the space he placed between them. She didn't like it and it was the exact opposite of what she wanted, possibly even what she needed. Maybe tonight she was just some sniveling girl instead of the all powerful amazon warrior she was sure was in there still. She felt pathetic, but the past 48 hours had left her feeling exposed and she didn't know how to fix it.

"How do I think it makes me feel when say you wish you could die for me?" She asked finding her words again, not quite meeting his eye anymore. "I mean I love you for how you see me, how you're the only one who I actually sort of believe when you say I'm beautiful and strong, and that I'm actually worth something, but at the same time I know you don't see all the pieces."

No one saw all of the pieces. That was how she wanted it and yer she still felt she was allowed to be upset when people didn't realize that she was worse than she seemed. "I'm not saying this to be dramatic, but I'm not someone who is worth dying for, maybe I was, but now I'm just a broken dead end, who is okay with not being happy because it's not like I'm unhappy.

"And you are just so much more than I deserve and you can be so much more, so when you say you want to die for me..." Lavender shook her head not really sure where that sentence was going or even how she had got there, but it seemed like an appropriate place to stop.