Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

CHAMBERS, samara b. (tracelines) wrote in pandorarpg,

When he first mentioned the research, Samara wondered if he was not going to get angry at all. If he was only going to focus on this research maybe he wasn't even going to worry about the rest of it. If only it could be that simple. "Yes, you took out all of the memories of your project. I have them all."

But there was a swift change in him and he began to move and she saw the waves begin to break. It was coming - she was losing him. She could not lie and say that his words did not sting quite a lot and his blaming her for his father's insanity was rather harsh. She had never blamed herself for that and she would not start now. Elijah Senior had told her not to ever blame herself and she believed in him.

She let him finish berating her with questions before she even tried to address any of them. They seemed to be flying at her like slaps in the face, not that Eli had ever hit her before, but the force with which they hit still felt just as damaging. She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself so that she could actually give answers to him. "If you had any plans in place you did not mention them to us when your father suggested his idea. If we were at all certain that you could have kept yourself from Azkaban we wouldn't have done it, Eli." She didn't look at him when she continued, "The climate was difficult, Eli. We were all scared, we had a short amount of time to plan and take action and considering your flat out refusal to his proposition on the basis of accreditation alone - yes, I honestly did think you were being rather reckless at the time. It's much easier for you to look back now and see that decisions were made hastily, but the situation then was rather dire."

"No, Eli, I will not let you disfigure this into something disgusting. Your father was a noble man, he did this willingly out of his love for his family and his son and I was and still am immensely proud of that man for every day that he spent in Azkaban, even if his mind deteriorated because of it. You might not agree with how we planned it, but it was our decision, it was the best decision and we carried it out for that very reason."

She considered his last questions. There were times in which Elijah Senior and she had discussed that Eli's refusal to allow him to take credit for his research was a step toward that line between genius and madness that he had never truly crossed yet and it had the both of them a little worried. "In the beginning, when we first decided to do it, yes. It was a conscious decision that there might be a possibility that you were beginning to step toward the line you'd crossed before. I suppose if you had given us any indication that you had plans of your own we would not have thought this but you shared it with either of us. In the last five years, I didn't tell you because - well in the beginning it was too difficult and I was trying to focus on Jason rather than the war. After a year or so it just became natural to keep the secret and knowing that you would discover the imbalance eventually, I thought it better that you figure that part out on your own first before I came to you with the whole story."