InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm gonna slap you in a minute"

Penelope Clearwater (clearpenny) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-11-13 00:48:00

Entry tags:

^date: november 02 2003, character: anthony goldstein, character: penelope clearwater

Characters: Anthony Goldstein and Penelope Clearwater
Setting: Sunday November 2nd, 2003 at 15:00; Waiting Room, St. Mungo's.
Summary: Random meeting at one of Penny's regular haunts.
Rating: Worksafe

It was the third night of terrifying nightmares, the last two being unusual in the sense that they were indeed real. Penelope had decided to make her way over to St. Mungo's once more, just to see if there was any more information to be had on these nightmares. She didn't disclose anything about nightmares during her last visit as she had felt a nagging thought in the back of her mind that said that she probably was going off the deep end. Now-a-days she would occasionally acknowledge the fact that for the past five years had flashbacks, nightmares and other symptoms. It was a huge change from a year ago when her former fiancee challenged her, stating that she needed to see a shrink. No--she didn't want to think about or admit to being "crazy" or needing "help"... But this--these nightmares...she knew that these were something else. It even just felt like something completely different.

She shifted in her seat in the waiting room, feeling uncomfortable at the idea of even going in to see a healer and potentially being labeled as "crazy". Her hand and wrist were in pain once again too, and for a brief moment she wondered whether this, and everything was just all in her head. Perhaps if she chickened out when meeting the Healer she can bring up that issue once more. She looked at her journal and made note of some of the comments people had made about their experiences, which were disturbingly similar, and wondered whether the whole world was going mad with her.

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-13 07:51 am UTC (link)

Anthony was tired. Being tired was nothing new to him. He had long since perfected the art of overworking. Two things were different about this particular case of being tired. First, it was the hour. Three in afternoon was far too early to be tired when he had work daylight hours for almost a week now. The reason for the early tiredness was related to the second reason this particular brand of exhaustion was unique.

Normally, Anthony slept like the dead. He would lay his head down and sweet oblivion would take over. Even in sleep, Anthony didn't have time to waste on dreams. The last few nights had not been normal. Not only had Anthony dreamed, but the dreams had been... disturbing. Sleep wasn't an effective rejuvenator anymore.

It didn't effect his work. Anthony still went through his duties not to the best of his abilities, but to the best of his personal standards. He was hardly the only Healer with his bright green robes rumbled nor was he the only one with bags under his eyes. Neither were new to Anthony, even if they were more extreme than usual. Still, it didn't excuse him almost missing the familiar face when he dropped off a scroll at the reception desk.

"Excuse me, Ms. Clearwater? Penelope Clearwater." Anthony said as he mentally cleared the fog to focus in on the women he approached. "I don't know if you recall me, but I'm Anthony Goldstein. I attended Hogwarts while you were a prefect. Are you well?"

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clearpenny
2011-11-13 03:28 pm UTC (link)

Penelope heard someone calling her name, the feeling of deja vu striking her; she almost thought, believed that it was--but it was impossible since he was dead. She looked up and realized that it was someone else, feeling herself quickly move from surprised to overwhelmed by a sadness upon realizing what she was thinking.

"I--I'm here," she blurted out the most obvious information in response to his question, feeling a bit overwhelmed, even though none of the information was new. She took a deep breath and tried again. "I remember you though, Anthony. You were the one with the questions," she said, getting at least a bit more of a grip. "Not that it's terribly uncommon with Ravenclaws," she added quickly, pushing back her curly brown hair from her face and trying to smile (although it turned out to be a rather weak one) as she looked up at him.

"How are you faring? I do notice that you're a Healer, which is wonderful--congratulations. But you are taking care of yourself though?" She asked, already taking notice of the bags under his eyes.

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-13 04:14 pm UTC (link)

"I'm doing well enough, Ms. Clearwater. Thank you for asking." A smile crept into Anthony's mouth at Penelope's congratulations. Being a full fledged Healer was still new enough that it was a source of pride for him. "I was made a mediwizard earlier this year. It's been very rewarding."

Anthony allowed his pride to overshadow the more subtle inquiry that Penelope made. Besides, he was more focused on her. People were rarely at their best in the waiting room of a hospital. Penelope's nervous behavior didn't escape his notice though. It sparked Anthony's curiosity. It might seem possible, but Anthony found a way to stand just a little straighter.

"How have you been? And what brings you to St Mungo's? Perhaps I can help."

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clearpenny
2011-11-13 06:26 pm UTC (link)

"I've been ok," Penelope said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. She wasn't sure whether she had ever been 'ok' in the past six or seven years, but she said it anyways since it was a reasonable and normal enough answer. How else do you say that you afraid for your sanity? That you have far too many questions that need answers and that you hope to find it here? That you've been nervous and out of sorts for the past several years but somehow it's gotten worse in the past few days? 'Ok' should work, right?

She looked around at first and considered whether she would tell her 'chicken out' story. And so she did; the fear of even being considered mad compelled her to. "It's my wrist and hand acting up again," she said, with a sigh. "No one seems to know what the matter is, really."

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-13 07:19 pm UTC (link)

Confusion knitted across Anthony's brow for a moment. He never understood why people said they were okay when clearly they were otherwise. The expression was quickly replaced with determination. Healing was something he did understand.

Ignoring the neat stack of parchment that was Penelope's file, Anthony reached into his robes and produced a well worn pad and a quill.

"If no one knows, let's get a fresh start on it. What are the symptoms, and how would you rate their severity? How often does your hand bother you? What potions or medications are you taking? Have their been any change to your routine?" Anthony paused his rapid list and shook his head slightly.

"Sorry. I never got out of the habit of asking questions. Let's just start at the beginning. How was your wrist and hand injured?"

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clearpenny
2011-11-13 08:42 pm UTC (link)

Penelope smiled tentatively at his comment about not getting out of habit of asking questions, but found herself at the question that just keeps on returning when she returned to hospital and any health professional. She even had a script for it at this point, which was much more helpful than actually focussing on the actual words, than actually reliving it. It was her way of avoiding, but getting the task done. She looked at the ground as she spoke, as she did have trouble looking anyone in the eye when speaking of...it. She wasn't sure as to whether it was because of some sort of guilt, shame, or just not wanting to see a reaction or a mix of the above.

All she had to do was to take a breath and let it go once more: "It was injured almost six years ago, I was captured by Snatchers. I'm muggleborn, and I had been writing for an underground publication. I can't remember most of what happened at that point--right after being captured, but I've been told long afterwards when I left that they had tortured me and had cut my tendons--which is quite believable. I suppose it was since I am a writer and I have had trouble using a quill with that hand since." The matter-of-fact tone didn't leave her voice, but her mouth felt dry after having described it. She needed at least a bit of distance between what had happened and the current reality, after all. "So that's what happened," she said, pausing for a moment before looking back up at Anthony once more.

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-13 09:17 pm UTC (link)

Anthony listened carefully as Penelope told her story. When he was trapped at Hogwarts, he wouldn't have believed that he was lucky. A few weeks at St Mungo's had taught him differently. There was an entire generation that had been maimed and tortured. In his idle moments, Anthony wondered if the war would ever really end. Anthony didn't allow himself many idle moments though. Not if there was healing to be done. He looked Penelope in the eye when she finally raised her head.

"I assume that you've seen a number of Healers by now. I'll review their notes, but if you're still experiencing symptoms none of the usual methods have been effective. Can you tell me more about the symptoms?"

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clearpenny
2011-11-13 09:45 pm UTC (link)

"Well it's usually a shooting pain around my wrist and hand, on the palm side. And its been like that for the past few days this time. I haven't been sleeping very well--that just may be it." She gestured at her right wrist which rested on her lap with her left hand as she spoke.

"I must seem mad though, after seeing this many Healers and no one finding anything wrong," she said after considering her own words. "They've tried everything, but it just doesn't seem to work over the long haul. And I have thought about going to muggle doctors, but how do you explain this to them? I don't think they'd know any better either."

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-16 08:56 pm UTC (link)

"I wouldn't recommend a muggle doctor, certainly. Aside from lying about the cause of your pain, they wouldn't be able to treat it if there was a lingering curse involved. As for treatment..." Anthony paused to consider.

He should be sending her to a specialist in another. He was a Mediwizard; his job was a treat immediate injuries or help people find the appropriate long term care. What department could treat her, though? It didn't sound like any of them knew what was wrong.

Anthony set himself in that moment. If no one else had been able to help Penelope, he had no choice. His exhaustion was pushed aside to make room for resolve. When looked back at Penelope, his gaze was focused and strong.

"We're going to figure this out, Ms. Clearwater. I firmly believe there is no injury that can't be healed with time and effort. I'm not going to give up trying to find the cause of this, and I expect you won't give up either."

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clearpenny
2011-11-17 04:51 am UTC (link)

"Thanks," Penelope said with a small but genuine smile at Anthony's determination. She wasn't completely sure whether there would be an answer, whether anything could be done. But seeing Anthony's confidence, she felt some hope at finding something.

Now if only there were some way to get rid of the nightmares too, life wouldn't be so bad. With at least a bit more confidence, she brought up the second issue. "I'm also a bit worried about the nightmares I've had lately. I've heard that several people had experienced them lately. Is there any medical or magical explanation for that you would be aware of?"

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-17 05:26 am UTC (link)

Anthony began jutting down ideas to investigate. Nightmares went to the top of the list.

"No one knows what's caused the recent spat of bad dreams. Normally, I would speculate a psychological response to the death of a prominent figure associated with keeping everyone safe, but it started before that. People are making inquiries, but nothing is certain." Anthony's focus wandered for a moment. His thoughts flickered to his own disturbing experiences.

"It might be aggravating the cause of your symptoms though. It might be a good idea to start keeping a journal. Recording your nightmares, along with your mood and stress level, diet, weather and anything else you can think of that varies frequently might help us determine if there's a pattern to these reoccurring pains."

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clearpenny
2011-11-17 06:05 am UTC (link)

"Many people?" She asked, wondering if it were more widespread than she initially thought. "Actually--" She paused, wondering if she wanted to recall the story once more since it was quite emotionally overwhelming to even think of it. "Actually I was talking to Harry the other day, when I had come in with similar problems and he did say that he also had a nightmare that very night."

"Ok," said Penelope, willing to give Anthony's suggestion a go as she hadn't thought of the patterns related to her dreams. "I'll try keeping a journal."

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-17 06:19 am UTC (link)

"Yes, many people. You, Harry, myself. I recall other people mentioning that people on those journals everyone has complaining as well." Anthony frowned. He hadn't allowed himself to much time to consider his nightmares. He had far too much to do. Was it something wide spread? Perhaps he would actually have to open one of these journals and check. He underlined the word nightmare.

"In any case, the nightmares may or may not be related. For all know, the cause of your symtoms might be related to astrological phenomenon. We can't rule anything out until we know more. If nothing else, writing the dreams down might be a good way of easing your mind. They might be less frightening out of your head."

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clearpenny
2011-11-17 06:29 am UTC (link)

"I see," Penelope said, remembering at least a couple of folks admitting to the dreams or knowing of others who had experienced the nightmares.

"Like a true Healer," Penelope acknowledged his comment on how they may not be related, or may be related to a relatively harmless phenomena. "I'm not entirely sure of that. The writing. I typically feel overwhelmed every time I think of the nightmares. Just since it reminds me of, but it isn't what I had experienced or seen in Azkaban. Since I do still have all of my fingers."

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ex_goldenrul25
2011-11-17 02:04 pm UTC (link)

"If the dreams become too much, I can give you the recipe for Dreamless Draught. If you can't prepare it yourself, it can be purchased here. It's not an effective long term solution though. Nothing is a substitute for real sleep."

That brought up another point that Anthony was hesitant to address. "This is going to take more time to resolve. It's unfair to ask you to wait longer, but that's reality. Your parents are muggles, but do you see them still? Do you have other friends to help support you?"

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clearpenny
2011-11-19 02:50 am UTC (link)

Penelope nodded. She had purchased a few already as she didn't have the time to make one up. She had a few deadlines at work that were quickly approaching. "I think I have the recipe somewhere," she tried to recall the volume from which it came from. She had a hand in editing different .

"Yes, I still do see my parents occasionally, and I have a few friends from work who are alright." She had been actually rather busy with her career that she hadn't as much time to socialize. Actually her social life was rather sad, but she didn't mind.

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