InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Why am I always Lois Lane?"

about_abbott (about_abbott) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-11-07 20:04:00

Entry tags:

!owl, ^date: november 02 2003, character: hannah abbott, character: justin finch-fletchley

The writing is smeared in places from the tear drops that fell as she wrote but legible.

Justin,

I hope that you actually take the time to read this. I don't care if you hate me. I don't care if you never talk to me again. I allowed my jealousy over the fact that Ernie tells you things he won't tell me to take over the other night. I said some very ugly things and I wish beyond measure that I could take them back, but I can't. So hate me if you must, but please do not take it out on Ernie.

I stopped by for a short while last night and he looked horrible. Said he'd not seen you all day. I offered to stay the night on the couch and take care of things for him and he turned me away. I'm scared for him. I learned this morning that some others had the dreams again. If he had his dream again and was alone there's no telling how he reacted. He needs you. He needs someone he can talk to and he won't talk to me.

Please, I beg you go check on him this morning. Don't be mad at him. Be mad at me. I deserve it.

Hannah

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basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-08 03:45 am UTC (link)

Hannah,

I don't hate you. I thought I did for a while, and I've been quite angry at you, but no, I don't hate you. I've known you too long for that. Plus, you know too many of my secrets for me to stay mad for too long.

And it appears you knew of one before I ever even told you, which to be honest I had no plans of doing. You were right in what you said, about me at least. I've loved him since I was 12 and he hid me from Harry (and don't think I haven't been remembering that year since hearing the news). I always knew he could never return my feelings, so I was perfectly happy having him as my best friend. All I ever wanted was to see him happy, which is why I helped the two of you get together in the first place.

Unfortunately, he knows now, and I don't know if that friendship will still be possible. Hannah, please understand that I can't face him yet. I can't handle this yet, not until I've at least dealt with Harry's death. My defences are down, so to speak, and I can't handle what Ernie might say right now.

You go see him. He doesn't even need to talk, just to have someone there who will love him and accept him as he is. And bring a bottle of dreamless sleep potion in case he had a bad night. Whether he had the nightmare again or not, and I don't see why he would (it wasn't anything out of his life or anything like normal dreams, so if he dreamt of anything, it would be us or Harry), he'll need to get some sleep before the funeral tomorrow.

Take a bottle yourself tonight too.

I'll see you at the funeral, all right?

Justin

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about_abbott
2011-11-08 04:40 am UTC (link)

Justin,

I think this would be easier if you simply hated me. I don't know what to say about your admission. He might not be able to return your desires on a physical level, but you are much more connected to him mentally and emotionally than I am. You have spent much more time with him over the years than I have. As a result you have a deeper bond with Ernie that I will never be able to emulate. Maybe that is the reason our friendships have worked so well over the years. Both of us have something to offer that he cannot or rather will not take from the other.

You didn't see the pain in Ernie's eyes last night when he told me he hadn't seen you. He tried to brush off the fact that you spent your day with Seamus and Dean but I could tell he was crushed. He loves you, Justin, just not in a romantic way, and he trusts you more than he would ever trust me.

Where the dreams are concerned, I think we should worry. I spoke with Penelope Clearwater over the journals earlier. She said her dream was the same one as last time. She also said Harry had the dreams. I havn't told Ernie, but Lavender and I did readings just before getting ready for the gala. They weren't good. Both her cards and my runes pointed to death and a battle. We weren't sure what they meant. We still aren't sure what they meant. However, each alluded to more than one.

Take care of yourself. I'm here if you need me whether you want me to be or not. I do love you, Justin.

Hannah

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