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Ernest (Ernie/Ern) Macmillan ([info]ernsthename) wrote in [info]pandorarpg,
@ 2011-11-03 22:08:00

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Entry tags:!status: complete, ^date: november 01 2003, character: ernie macmillan, character: hannah abbott, character: jasper dorny

Who: Ernie and Jasper (and possibly Hannah)
What: Meeting so no one has to bear the unbearable alone.
When: November 1, 2003, shortly after 16:00
Where: Ernie's flat
Rating: Worksafe

Despite the growing pile of paperwork showing up on his desk, Ernie had enough and had to cut off at 4:00 pm. He had given them an hour of overtime to get what needed to be done out of the way, but that was all that he was willing to do that day since he had lived the entire day as if it were a movie that just played in front of him.

He had vascillated between feeling either very numb and distracted to just plain old sad and angry (such as when he had communicated with Zacharias Smith during the breaks that his colleagues poked him into taking since they realized that something was wrong--and he refused to go home early). He had spent the briefest of times outside of the Ministry to check on a security detail that he had to arrange; he didn't let his eyes linger on the crime scene for much longer than he had to. He never did take very well to crime scenes, but knowing what it was made him feel sick. He was quite lucky that he didn't have enough time to even consider that before he had returned back indoors to run a debriefing session and to update the new shift that was coming on.

By the time he had returned to his flat he was exhausted having had little sleep for the last few nights. Upon his return, Ernie had flopped down on his couch, still in his uniform, and had taken to staring at the ceiling. He did remember that Jasper was going to come by sometime, but told himself that he'd prepare tea shortly. He'll just sit there in the meantime. He considered for a moment how relieved he was that he had heard from both Justin and Hannah that morning. That initial panic was what got him through the night, and the rush of work got him through the bulk of the day (despite his apparent disconnect from it), but now the only thing was left were muted feelings of despair.



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[info]chapterandverse
2011-11-07 08:21 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe you should tell him that yourself, then," Jasper said just as the water began to boil. He was grateful for the distraction, Ernie's morbid words making Jasper distinctly uncomfortable. But he merely filled their mugs and set one down in front of Ernie as the tea steeped.

Jasper frowned at the look Ernie was giving him, not sure how to read it. "No, he didn't tell me anything. It's none of my business. Though, I'm starting to get that whatever happened was pretty bad. If you're so concerned, you do know you can go to him, right? He's will Dean and Seamus. At least he was when he left me that note." Being a go-between wasn't one of Jasper's favorite things, especially when he didn't know why he was playing middle man int he first place.

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[info]ernsthename
2011-11-07 08:40 pm UTC (link)
"I will, so long as he's willing to hear that from me," Ernie said, pulling his attention from Jasper to the mug of hot tea. Ernie just wished he knew more about Justin's take on what had happened so that he'd feel more prepared himself.

"It's complicated. I have no right to be angry at anyone, but I am since they can't seem to put something relatively petty aside to realize that life is too short." He sighed deeply before adding. "Maybe I'll try to visit him sometime tomorrow though."

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[info]chapterandverse
2011-11-07 08:49 pm UTC (link)
Jasper blew on his hot tea, thoughtful as he listened to Ernie speak, but he was still frowning by the time Ernie finished. "Why are you assuming the worst of them? Maybe they're giving you space because they think you don't want to see them?" Hands curled around his mug, Jasper stared down at his tea. "Justin cared enough to not want you to be alone and Hannah said she'd be by later. I don't think that's very petty at all." Jasper knew that life could be short. This wasn't the first time he'd lost someone he cared about violently an unexpectedly, and he knew how that could make someone feel. But he didn't think Ernie was being very fair to his best friends.

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[info]ernsthename
2011-11-07 09:22 pm UTC (link)
"I made it quite clear to them that I would be here for them," Ernie initially felt defensive at the thought that Jasper initially had put out.

"I've never seen them fight like that before though," Ernie said with a resigned sigh. "I was surprised. It was wrong for me to think that I could just get them to fix it right away and to get on with life. It was mostly my fault to begin with though." And perhaps he was worried about having to choose between them--he never did want it to get to that. He took a sip of his tea in an effort to clear up the lump that sat in his throat.

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[info]chapterandverse
2011-11-07 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Jasper felt chastened by Ernie's tone. It really was none of his business. But he couldn't help offering softly, "Maybe it was clear to you, but not to them. If...it was as bad as you say, maybe they're just uncertain." Not wanting to say any more, he took a testing sip of his tea. It was still hot, but cool enough to drink. He would have liked some milk, but he didn't much feel like imposing any more than he had already. Part of him wished he was back at Bianca's where things weren't so complicated.

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[info]ernsthename
2011-11-07 10:04 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe," Ernie said, looking down at his tea once more. "Thanks. And I'm sorry--I'm not exactly the easiest person to be around today. I bet they were glad to get rid of me at the office today--on time for once too," he tried to smile at this, even though it struck a strange reality. It was quite clear to most of his colleagues that there was something wrong and beyond getting most of the essential tasks done they gave him distance. "It's a good thing that I'm off tomorrow and Monday. I need some time."

His eyes fell upon the baked goods that Jasper had brought. "How's Bianca doing?"

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[info]chapterandverse
2011-11-08 03:11 pm UTC (link)
Jasper shrugged off the apology. Nobody was easy to be around today. Today was just full of uneasiness he'd come to realize. "I'm sure no one blames you for it," Jasper said after another careful sip of tea. "I'm glad you're getting some time off, though."

He was a caught a little off guard when the conversation turned to Bianca, his ears going pink. "She's fine, I suppose. Upset about...Well, everyone's upset. But she's doing well otherwise."

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[info]ernsthename
2011-11-08 04:40 pm UTC (link)
"Hopefully. Although I guess I can get used to being allowed out on time." Well that was out of being just plain old out of it though. He wouldn't have ever been able to complete anything the way he was that day that others certainly didn't see a point in keeping him around.

"I'm glad to hear that she's alright. I'll be sure to thank her for these, they look delicious," he said, taking a tea cake. "Did you want any butter with it? Or sugar or milk for the tea, for that matter?" He had started to become at least somewhat more aware of his surroundings, at the very least.

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[info]chapterandverse
2011-11-09 04:32 pm UTC (link)
Personally, Jasper thought Ernie worked too much and he was pretty sure it was a worry shared by others that knew him. But it wasn't his place to say, so he just nodded and sipped his tea.

"The cakes are amazing," Jasper said with a small smile. "Oh no, I couldn't have another bite. I stuffed myself while I was at her place. I could do with a bit of milk, though." The tea was good, but it was missing the slight creaminess Jasper was accustomed to.

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