Hello.
My name's Bethany. I'm 19 years old and I live in a small town in Wisconsin. Eau Claire has 61,704 people and there are many religious faiths as indicated by the 70+ churches, but most of the people I've come across are either Christian or Catholic. A lot of my queer friends here are atheists or Wiccans. I honestly haven't met that many people who are Christian and gay, but I know they exist. I actually have met three gayboys who are Catholic, so that does say something. If someone wants to believe something, they will, despite what their church says.
Personally, I was raised Catholic. I was very "into" the Church as a kid. Then, when I was nine, my dad died. And then, when I was... oh, about twelve or thirteen, I realized I was bisexual. I quit believing in God because I figured there was no point in believing in someone who didn't want me around.
I went without religion (well, mostly, there was an attempt at Buddhism that failed pretty miserably) for a long time. I was diagnosed as bipolar after a suicide attempt (hospital trip 1) and a manic phase (hospital trip 2). This was in eighth grade. At the end of ninth grade, I tried to kill myself a second time. Didn't work, obviously.
I was a pretty stupid kid, but the thing is, a large amount of my stupidity came from the fact that I was molested by my cousin at age 5. It's not an excuse, but it might help things be more understandable.
Anyway.
I was agnostic until a few weeks ago. Age 19. Basically, I was in Pennsylvania visiting my long-distance boything and his housemates. I was watching "Pinocchio" with Paul and Harris (Harris is four), and I realized that if I don't believe in an afterlife, I will never see my father again. And that sucks. A lot. And I want to see my dad again, because he was cool.
Not just that, but I need some guidance, and I don't plan on using religion as a crutch... however, I would like a deity to walk with me, show me the ropes. You know? I don't believe in the Church at all anymore, and I don't plan on GOING to church, except on holidays... but at least I have faith now. I like faith.