===================================================================== WHO: Chance and Jackson WHAT: Drinking & Talking WHEN: After their gambling trip, early August WHERE: Their apartment RATING: References to sex and drinking
Jackson was a little tipsy already from the few drinks they'd had at the bar, though he would most certainly be going from tipsy to drunk with the bottles he and Chance had gotten on the way home. He liked cheap whiskey best honestly, and so buying what basically amounted to rotgut pleased him best.
He found Ace sitting by the door when they got in and scooped her up, scratching behind her ears as he walked to the couch. “It was a good night, I think.”
Chance never drank when he was working - and for him gambling was a job. Afterwards though he found a stop at the casino bar made him less suspicious. He'd sensed when the security were starting to key in on him and signalled Jackson that it was time to take a break. They'd done well, and Chance hadn't been recognized, so they might be able to hit this dealer a second time in another week or so for a second take. It was good reason to celebrate. A stop at the liquor store on the way home for more celebratory liquor had been called for.
Chance grinned at the small creature who was telling them off when they came into house, but stopped mid-meow to begin purring when Jackson picked her up. "You think? You didn't hear the teller counting your cash-out at the window?"
Jackson lightly nuzzled the small animal before looking at his friend with a shrug. “I wouldn't make as much without you, so that doesn't really count.” Having a new pet and a good take from the night out was a bonus though and he was glad at the way the evening had gone. Now was a time for more drinking though, and he cracked open his bottle to take a swig before offering it to Chance.
"I can say the same thing." Chance countered, taking his turn with the bottle. He handed it back and then headed to the bedroom pulling off his shirt. Home required sweats, not the nicer clothes he tried to wear to blend in at the casinos. Always nice enough not to be noticed, but not so nice as to cost them real money. Jackson excelled at blending in. "Would you say what I took in doesn't count?" Chance of course knew exactly how much they'd each made over the course of the evening - and what they'd lost at different times too. Numbers were easy.
“You'd still have a big take. I'm better with public displays and trickery.” Counting cards was not really his thing honestly. He took another drink, waiting for Chance to come out before going to change into his own pajama pants. The small kitten had attached to his shirt so that stayed, and he settled back next to Chance.
Chance was taking up a lot of space on the couch when Jackson came back, already feeling the burning liquor warming him from the inside. "Which I'm shit at." Chance wasn't in the mood to let Jackson discount himself. He knew he had skills, but so did Jackson.
“Different talents. It's why we work together.” Jackson handed the bottle over - sharing was the way to go always, and he was enjoying the buzz he was getting so far. The kitten had settled back in to sleep, so he was able to get comfortable on the couch even with Chance taking up half of it.
Chance reached over to pet the small black creature dozing on Jackson, smiling when he was able to get away with it - and was rewarded with the small rumbling. "Even better, we got out before they threw me out." It was an important part, since they wouldn't have been allowed to cash out if they were thrown out.
“We did. Means we can head back sometime if we are careful.” He took the bottle back and took a longer swig this time, leaning his head back against the couch. “I can't think of any way better to end a night than like this…” Because relaxing with Chance was his favourite thing.
"And the best kind of girl waiting for us at home." Chance laughed at his own joke. Still he was more than glad to be celebrating with Jackson than anyone else. This was better honestly. He liked being with Jackson.
“Doesn't expect much from us and will be here unconditionally.” Another drink punctuated the statement and Jackson shrugged. “It makes life easier, that's for sure.”
"Still costs money… but we got enough to cover it for a while." Which made Chance feel good - knowing he could take care of Jackson and his new pet that way. He liked being able to do that, really. Jackson always seemed more worried about money than Chance was - he was more saving inclined while Chance spent money.
Jackson rarely allowed himself to feel secure about anything honestly. Worrying was part of his nature and money had never been stable when he was little. It was easier now but that was because he could manage to store away a little bit every time they had a good night for the leaner times. “She's small. I doubt she'll be a huge cat, which means less on food and all.”
"We packed away a lot when we were small." Chance teased. He wasn't really worried. Jackson was happy and Chance would skip a meal or two if he had to to make sure Ace was fed. "Still can. Do we have any takeout left?"
“We do, in the fridge.” Jackson nodded slightly. He loved Chinese food, yes, but he tended to be careful on how much he ate- filling his stomach and no more, so that he had leftovers. He didn’t ever want to have to go without food, and the paranoia did still linger. Plus, eating right now would bring down the growing intoxication starting to cloud his mind.
Chance brought one of the containers back to the sofa offering Jackson if he wanted any of the rice taking the bottle back. "It's been a good day. Cheers." He took a deep sip. "Glad you were with me."
“Always will be.” Because it was true. He didn’t have anyone else in his life that mattered, and he was relatively certain it would remain that way. It wasn’t something that often bothered him- he had given up faking his attempts at dating. Chance was it, and since he couldn’t have Chance, he just left it alone. He did take some of the rice, but not much. Food was not a priority at the moment.
"Yes." Chance agreed. "Music or TV?" Drinking meant they should have something they were doing so they weren't just drinking. "We getting drunk? Been awhile since we've done that."
“Music. TV’s bullshit lately with the fucking election and all.” Jackson shook his head and took the bottle back, taking a long swig. “I think we’ve earned it tonight, getting plastered, don’t you?”
Chance dug out the mp3 player - portable had always proved better for them. "Fuck the election. Not a one of them are going to do shit for the likes of us." He dropped back to the couch, disturbing the small fur thing. "Sorry Ace." He ruffled her fur. "We can do whatever we want… so long as I don't disturb her again."
Jackson nodded at the comment about the election. It was true. No matter who was president, things wouldn’t change much for them. They were under the radar in a lot of ways- poor but not living off government funds, and taking in just enough that they could survive without paying all too much by way of taxes. He drank some more before stroking the small kitten’s head. “She may kill you in your sleep if you do, I think…”
"She may anyway." Chance pointed out. "She likes you. We don't know if she's as jealous a lover as most of mine have been." Chance pointed out, drinking some more. It was ironic to him that his girlfriends were always jealous over him and threw fits if he was 'flirting' when he never cheated, and had been cheated on by at least 2 of his ex's.
“She won’t really hurt you. I think she would know you’re important. Plus you brought the toys.” A small smile and he closed his eyes, resting his head back against the couch again. The alcohol was doing its job and he was bordering on drunk now, a feeling he sought at this point. It made things feel much more settled and comfortable, and he could very easily pretend all this was permanent.
"I didn't think she would… She's not like my ex's. Cuter for one thing. Yours for another." He trusted Jackson and therefore Jackson's kitten. "You're better than my girl's aren't you? Because you're Jackson's girl and he's always telling me to be smarter about this shit."
Jackson smirked at Chance’s words and nodded slowly. “I don’t pile up exes like you do. Just the pair, and that’s it.” His hand moved to lazily stroke Ace and he sighed, comfortable. “Of course she’s better than your girls though. A blood-drunk leech would be better than the last one, I figure.”
"Yea, well. I can see that now." Chance had seen it far before the breakup, if he was honest. They'd had drama from the start, and ups and downs the entire time they were together. "It was fun when we weren't fighting." Chance argued, knowing it was a weak argument. "And I didn't expect it to end like it did. End, yes."
“Your idea of fun is different from mine, remember. Hence no girls hanging around me.” He murmured, taking another long swig of the bottle and then resuming the petting of the small fluffball on his chest. “She was horrible. You deserve someone that loves you.”
"I'm not that lucky." Chance shook his head. "You deserve someone good. Me, I get what I deserve, if I'm honest. I use my luck up in other ways."
“I’m not looking. I won’t look.” Jackson shrugged, causing Ace to cling slightly with her claws. “You can have my luck on that because I don’t need or want it.”
"Why aren't you even looking?" Chance didn't understand that. He might not be looking right now but something would come his way at some point he knew. "You're good looking, intelligent… You've got good hands, which your lovers have to appreciate."
“Hands don’t mean much when other parts decide to not function.” And with that statement Jax knew he was well and truly drunk- though he took another gulp of the burning alcohol to wash down the shame of that too. He could be as good looking or intelligent as he liked, if he couldn’t bed a lover, they wouldn’t stay.
Chance frowned, not following what Jackson meant. "Other parts?" What was Jackson trying to say.
“Which parts do you think?” Jackson looked at his friend and rolled his eyes slightly. “Which parts would cause a man to not want to bother trying to take a lover?” Because while he could get himself off, he had only succeeded in bedding one woman, and even that was only because he had been thinking of Chance the whole time.
Chance sat up to look at Jackson. "Your parts work though… we've both been jerking off since we were preteens." They'd shared a room whenever Chance was at his dad's house when their parents were together. He was confident nothing was wrong with Jackson.
“Don’t seem to when I’m with someone. Only been able to keep it hard once, one girl.” He shrugged absently and stroked the kitten again, nuzzling her soft fur. It didn’t matter much. He could jerk himself off, that had never been an issue, and his drive, while normal for someone his age, could easily be sated alone honestly.
Chance frowned. "I didn't know that. I assumed…" Obviously he'd assumed wrong. "Are you gay?" SInce maybe that was a reason - if Jackson liked guys. "It's okay if you are. I mean I'll check out guys once in a while." He'd never dated a guy and didn't really think he was bisexual, but he did look sometimes and had questioned himself a few times when he was younger. His stint in jail though had made him wary around guys.
“Not really sure, honestly. Never much thought about it.” Jackson shrugged faintly, earning him a distressed look from Ace, who was still clinging to his shoulder as though it was a bed. “I never thought to worry about it. By the time I even cared, I was at the point of wondering why I should bother when I’ve got two working hands.”
Chance was almost always in a relationship, so it was odd to him that Jackson wasn't. "Well think about it. You're always going on about what I deserve, but you deserve it as much as I do - more. You've managed to hold onto an apartment, and not get your stuff burned… You're always around when I need you - I want you to get that happy ending."
“I don’t want a fucking happy ending, Chance. I’m not fucking interested in bedding anyone at this point. I’m fine.” His voice was slightly harsher than normal, and he shifted a little bit away from his friend. He didn’t want to think of any of this. He was there for Chance. He would always be there for Chance when the next girl threw him out, and the next, and so on. That was his ending and he knew it.
"I didn't mean just sex." Chance did the opposite, his voice getting softer. It pissed off his girlfiends that he never yelled back. He'd seen too much yelling, and knew it did nothing in a relationship. "I mean a relationship, Jax. I mean finding someone who appreciates you for who you are. For everything you are to me."
“I have you. I don’t need anything else.” Jackson stroked Ace’s head again. “Well, and her.” Because he needed to be there when Chance needed him, and dating would obstruct that.
"I'm not good enough. You deserve more." He deserved better, Chance thought, shaking his head. "And Ace is good… but…" He wanted Jackson to have everything. "You deserve to have everything, Jackson."
“This is the choice I’ve made.” And he was secure in it. He loved Chance, but he would not force his love on the other man. Chance deserved better than that, deserved to be with someone who he wanted, not someone he would be with just out of pity and misplaced loyalty.
"I'm not worth it," Chance argued softly. "You know me." Jackson had grown up with him. He was his best friend. Chance wasn't worth that kind of choice. He'd been useful to his parents for the state aid and for his ability to pick winning horses, dogs and slots. He'd gotten into fights - been in jail for assault for a few months as a teenager. And his last two girlfriends cheated on him.
“You’re my best friend.” He spoke softly now too, holding back what he really felt. He couldn’t throw that at Chance. It wasn’t fair to do that. “I know you better than anyone, and so I know you’re worth that choice. I’m here for you. I always will be.”
"Not at the cost of your own happiness, Jax. You deserve everything we didn't have growing up. Everything we saw in the movies." It was that simple for Chance.
“I have you. That means I’m happy.” Jackson sighed and plucked the kitten from his chest, cradling it gently and looking almost sadly at Chance. “I’m going to head to bed, I think. You should do the same soon.”
Chance sighed. Obviously Jackson was ending the argument. "I'll clean up out here and come in in a bit." He'd give Jackson time to himself in his room without Chance getting in his way.