Dominic Jude | Delirium (Sandman) (wackadoofiles) wrote in ourtrueselves, @ 2009-04-23 23:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | dominic jude |
Who: Dominic Jude(Delirium), Narrative
What: Retrieving a book, visiting a patient
When/Where: Today, Bedlam
Warnings: None.
Note: I had cleared with the mods, a while back, a bit of a 'what if' scenario; what if Dominic had tried to 'cure' a fellow reincarnate? Obviously it couldn't have been viable, since everyone would have clamored to be 'cured'. But what would happen to them? And this is what I came up with. Agency members obviously know of the girl, Sarah, and that Dominic goes to see her from time to time. But it's not really talked about, since he's still very upset over the whole thing.
Bethlehem Royal Hostpital, otherwise known as Bedlam, was the first institution specifically maintained for the mentally ill. It seemed fitting, in a way, that it had been Dominic's home on and off throughout his childhood; that the reincarnation of the first form of psychosis, would stay at the reincarnation of the first sanitarium. Walking through the door, he saw everything with acute focus, the usual flurry of color and sound organizing itself into something resembling reality- he could feel the pull of the patients in the building, contrasting with the clinical poise of the doctors, but somehow remained withdrawn from it all, an outsider looking in. Ironic, that Dominic felt most himself in a mental hospital, but there it was.
Heading to the check-in desk, he greeted the nurse warmly, chatting with a soft smile as he filled out the visiting forums by rote. Most of the staff regarded him with a sort of wariness- mainly because many of them remembered when he had been there as a patient, the others having heard the stories of the scared little ginger boy and his butterflies. A case study on textbook delusional schizophrenia, and yet somehow, he was certified to be on 'their side' now, treating others who were in the same position as he'd been, just a few years ago. He couldn't say he blamed them- without the help of the Agency, without Parker, he'd probably still be sitting up in Gresham, trying to keep the butterflies away. Still, he couldn't think on that too long right now- he had Sarah to worry after.
Sarah Millfax, now twenty-four years old, once the reincarnation of the Yama-uba. She had 'woken up' at the age of eighteen, to dreams of cannibalism. Killing children. Horrendous things. Dominic had started her treatment after just three months, when the dreams became so bad she hadn't been sleeping. She'd admitted to having thoughts of killing herself, of killing others, when nothing else in his profile suggested she would ever do such things. She believed it had to be due to the Yama-uba. She begged, pleaded with him to do something. Cure her. He had to be able to- that's what she was, wasn't it? Delirium. The balance between sanity and insanity. She could remove the insanity- the reincarnate- and let Sarah go on with her life. Right?
To this day, Dominic wasn't sure what made him agree to it. She was beautiful, kind, but he wasn't... he knew she was a patient. It shouldn't have mattered. He shouldn't have intervened.
He pushed the thoughts from his mind, as he walked through the doors into the Alexandra ward, smiling tentatively at the attending nurse as he stopped at the desk to empty his pockets; yes, he was aware it was time for medication. Yes, he knew he shouldn't really see her right now. But there had been a book, see, a red journal, he'd been allowed to show the patient? Of course she knew the one. He smiled and nodded, following her to the door. She unlocked it with an obvious ease, softly warning Dominic that she'd had a bit of a bad night, since he'd left. He swallowed, knowing what that meant, but entered anyway once he was waved in.
The first few moments were always hardest for him- the obvious reminder of just what he'd done to the poor girl hitting him square in the chest. Still, he couldn't be weak. He had to be pulled-together for her, to at least say something to her. Dominic walked toward the bed, trying not to frown at the way the girl thrashed in her restraints, as he settled into the chair at her side. He took her hand, momentarily renewing the connection they had once shared, trying to calm her through the touch. The words he spoke sounded like meaningless syllables, but she seemed to turn into them, answer back. He smiled sadly, nodding or shrugging through the short, babbled conversation, before the pain in his head became too much, and he had to pull away. He'd explained about the diary- about the visions- and told her he'd be more careful.
She'd made him stop apologizing years ago.
Collecting the book, he swiftly made his way out the door, looking back through the window once it was closed to see she'd calmed. At least for the moment. It was enough to get another small, fleeting smile out of him. The nurse saw the same, and chided him again; why didn't he stay? Help them in the ward? He was the only one who could calm 'the worst of them'. Dominic said what he always said-
"I'm part of the problem, not the cure. They'd be better off without this place. And they'll get there, eventually."
Holding the book securely to his side, he made his way to the nearest exit, managing to get back to the alley, before emptying his stomach- in a flurry of butterflies and frogs. He stayed hunched over for some time, taking comfort in the butterflies resting on his face, before a sound near the end of the alley snapped him out of it, and he shook them off to start for the Agency. He needed to get the book back into the lock-up, and soon. With everything going on, he wasn't strong enough to contain it- he was barely strong enough to contain himself.