Hello kids, I'd like to start tonight's broadcast with an explanation for you American folks. Us Brits have had a shitload of snow lately and I'm about to join the ranks of most of this great isles population by having a good old whinge about it. It's pretty patriotic, actually. There was some study that proved that one of the things the British do the most is talk about the weather. I don't know what's more pathetic: that we spend that much time having a rant about a country where we should probably all have webbed feet anyway or that someone was sad enough to sit and actually do a study on it.
Today, I've found a few things that you probably shouldn't try at home but I'm not mother so I'm not going to tell you not to. HOwever, let's review the funnier side of the shit that happens when kids have snow days, also known as what to do if you want to get arrested or die.
Some idiot has taken out their shovels out and actually piled snow in their front room so they could be warm and make a fort. You can't make this shit up. I'm sure that's going to be interesting in a couple of hours.
Someone else in the car park was getting arrested for what's got to be the funniest thing pretty much ever. They decided to take a piss on someones car...and it's frozen on it. Frozen piss really isn't that unusual, but it is when you're still going when the owner comes back. Pwned.
Some of the kids are sledding. Just a tip here, blokes. If you're going to ride down the hill on the end of a shovel, be careful where you put the pole. OUCH.
Alright, ranting about the snow over (for now) so keep warm, keep safe and try not to spin on an ungritted road and be injured horribly unless someone can catch it on camera and sell it to You've Been Framed. Later!