Who: Matilda Martin and Clyde Bailey What: Phone call When: Late Saturday night/early Sunday morning
- ring ring -
"Tildie, hey."
"Hi, Clyde. I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner - I got a bit caught up. Er, how are you?"
"You were s'pose to call me? Bout meetin' up? Babe, don' worry bout it. I'm cool. You sound a lil out of it. Fuck, it's gotta be daylight by now? Close to? Whatcha doin' up?"
"My brothers took me out for my birthday - surprised me, actually, I had no idea either of them were in town. It's been a while since the three of us were all together, and we just lost track of time, I suppose. Thank you for that post, by the way. I wasn't really expecting... well, it was sweet of you to remember."
"I didn'. My phone did. It's a suck ass gift, babe, but it's what I got to give ya right now."
"Oh. Well, that's quite the phone you have, then." -she laughs- "Are you, erm - you sound like you're planning on giving me something else?"
"No. That's it. An' whatever you might wan' when you finally get your ass over here. Course, it's gotta be free. Ain' Daddy Warbucks."
"Mm, well, lucky for you I don't have very expensive tastes. And I will come, I promise - I just have to figure out when. Hopefully sometime this week, if I can manage it. Where are you, anyway?"
"Right now? Texarkana. Visitin' a friend of mine. Gonna go bowlin' with her tomorrow - easy shit, ya know? Gotta look at her car before I do that. I swear, some of these people don' do shit with their cars til I come"-definite smile in his voice.-
"Perhaps it's better that way. Who knows what would happen to the poor cars if mere mortals were allowed to tinker with them?"
"Yeah, cause I'm a fuckin' god. Shit. All they gotta do is take them to their local types regularly then they don' get the shit kicked outta them with the bill."
"Hm, maybe you should tell them that. Doesn't do much good to tell me, you know."
"I have told them that, Tildie. I think they like bein' able to pay me back for the shit I do. Can't say I complain much bout it, but sometimes all I want is to take a shower and go to fuckin' bed."
"Pay you back? Hm, I can only imagine what that entails."
"Yeah, bet you can. You gotta a good imagination." - still smiling- "Nah, this chick'll just feed me; her husband's not a bad guy."
-laughing- "Ah, food in exchange for labor, always a good incentive! And I may have a good imagination, but I also have very inquisitive brothers, and we are both extremely lucky that they didn't decide to crash here. Otherwise, I'd be getting the third degree by now."
"For wha? You just wouldn' be callin' me is all."
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't really know. It's just - they'd get suspicious, that's all. I don't usually smile this much when I'm on the phone."
"You're smilin'? Why the fuck are you smilin', babe?" -He was smiling still.-
"I suppose I could be smiling because I'm sleep-deprived, a little drunk, and slightly delirious, but I don't really think that's it. No, rather it's because today - well, yesterday, actually - was my birthday, and you remembered, after a fashion. That's very smile worthy, I think."
"It's not like you remembered my birthday. Now that was somethin' to smile bout."
"Mm, yes, that hood ornament was quite special, wasn't it?" -teasing-
"Yes, it fuckin' was. So, what're you wearin'?"
"Nothing terribly exciting, I'm afraid. Jumper, camisole, pyjama bottoms. I'm rather boring when it comes to my nightwear."
"Jumper? What the fuck?" -pause- "Oh - sweater. Yeah, not excitin'. Too bad. "
"I don't really have a reason to be exciting, you see. It's just me here."
"You coulda lied."
-laughs- "I'm sorry, that didn't even occur to me. Maybe next time. For now, though, I'll have you know that I'm taking the jumper off, because it is a little warm in here."
"Now, don' go tryin' to make it better by gettin' naked. You missed your chance for international phone sexin'."
"I wasn't going to get naked, I was just taking my jumper off!" -she's a bad liar- "Really, though. It's still my birthday somewhere in the world."
"You were gonna try an' seduce me. Don' like, Tildie."
"And here I thought I didn't need to, seeing as I already have."
"I'm not that dog and the bell. I don' drool jus' cause you ring the bell, baby."
"Well, I'm glad for that. Drooling isn't very attractive."
"Not even a lil when I sleep?"
"Endearing, yes. Attractive, no."
"Guess you coulda said no all out."
"I could have, yes." -a pause, unsure of what to say next-
"It's cool. You prolly should get some sleep fore you do somethin' you'll kick yourself for later."
"Yes, I suppose I should. Though I don't really know what I could possibly do right now that I would regret later. Except maybe not sleep at all. I am rather old, after all."
"Yeah, you are an ole broad, arentcha?" -A chuckle or two- "I don' think you wanna start anythin' when I'm on a cell phone and anyone could be listenin'."
"Yes, I'm positively ancient." -laughs- "What do you mean by 'anyone'? Are you really that paranoid?"
"Babe, I know what can be done. And paranoid versus knowin' that you might feel damn stupid should it ever get round, the sound of you gettin' freaky on the phone? Nah, if I'm gonna pull my pud, I'll do it to the porn they got here. Then just think bout you later."
"Oh! Well. That's, ah, reassuring, I suppose. I would say the feeling's mutual, but I'm afraid I don't have any porn lying round. And I don't really intend on staying conscious for very long after I hang up, so the best I can hope for is a dream or two."
"I bet you have some sweet dreams, Tildie."
"They vary, just like everyone's, but yes, I'd say the majority of them are sweet. But watch me have a nightmare now, just because I've said that. Wouldn't surprise me one bit."
"Hope you don' have a nightmare."
"I hope so, too. Though if I do, I hope it's one of those ones you don't remember in the morning. That would definitely be preferable." -a pause- "I'm sort of rambling about nothing now, aren't I?"
"Sokay, babe. You're tired, tipsy, horny, and in need of some sleep. Go to sleep, baby."
"Yes, that about sums it up. I think I will. And I won't wait so long to call you next time."
"No problems. Go get your sleep. I'll see you soon."