Brennan McLaggen has misplaced his pants...again. (lostmypants) wrote in ourtimethreads, @ 2013-07-26 00:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | *july, *narrative, brennan mclaggen |
Who: Brennan Mclaggen (with Mikey laying in his comatose state)
What: Brennan is getting a little bit off of his chest at the moment.
When: July 26, early evening.
Where: St. Mungo's, Mikey Bradely's room.
Rating | Status: Language and wall related violence | Complete
Brennan Aaron McLaggen was not a praying man. His father had tried to get Brennan to understand and make faith a part of his life, but Brennan really hadn't had a mind for it. Right now he sort of wished that he had taken to heart a little more of what his father had been trying to teach him. It wasn't like he wasn't a believer, and to some extent he knew that he was. It was just that it wasn't something that Brennan had ever really put high on his priority list, other than making his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather happy on Christmas, Easter and St. Patrick's day. But right now as he rested his elbows on his knees, folded his hands together and bent his head he was trying. He was trying to think of something to say that he actually meant. He could say that he would try and be a better person. That he'd try and cut down on the drinking, the sex, the fighting, and the general hedonism that he tended to live his life. But he knew that these were idol promises and that seemed wrong to him. So he shut his eyes a little tighter after taking a peak upwards and seeing the man that he'd called his brother laying there in terrible condition. "Please." was all he got out as he scrunched up his face as he tried to maximize his concentration. "Please. Just...help." he begged in a low voice that was tick with emotion.
"I need him here." he closed his eyes even tighter to keep the tears from leaking out. "I need him here with me to...just be here." Brennan knew that he wasn't making much sense at the moment, so he really just hoped that the Man Up Stairs would understand some of this. "No one has ever stuck by me for so long that didn't have to because we were family." he tried to explain, because he figured that he needed to explain this since they hadn't spoken in a long while. "He's a good man. One of the best I know, and he tolerated all of my shi-stuff." he honestly wasn't sure if he should be censoring himself or not at this point, but he pressed on. "He knew how to talk to me about things. Not just tell me not to because I think we both know that telling me not to do things is just going to make me do them. But...he's a good person. He cares about other people. Why the hel-heck did this have to happen to him of all people?! Why not some asshole? I'm not saying people should be punished but for fuck sake...I don't think you really understand how much of a mess I am without my best friend." Brennan sigh heavily, his shoulders slumping a bit as he dropped his hands and hung his head. This wasn't working. He sighed again as he got up and stared to pace the room a bit.
As like the other million times that he'd paced Mikey's room it took him a few back and forths for him to really be able to look at his friend. Something that he just felt a hard hitting part of guilt over. But it was hard to look at...even with all of the potions and pastes his friend was still in really rough shape. God, it didn't even really look like Mikey right now. That was not his best friend who would laugh at his stupid jokes. That was not the man who went with him on a random adventure up to Scotland on motorbike just for some fucking fish and chips. That was not his best friend who had stuck by him despite the terrible person Brennan could be at times. That was not his best friend who'd dropped out of school with him. And yet...it was. It completely was. That was Michael Noah Bradely. And it was killing Brennan to see him like that knowing there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. It'd taken him a day or two, but he'd eventually shown up around a time when Mikey's family had been here. Offered as many hugs and support as he could. He might not have even said it, or would ever say it, but Brennan had been giving money to the hospital to make sure that all of the medical costs were covered. He felt like he owed him at least that much. And more. So much more.
"Damnit Mike." he said as he sniffed violently and looking downward quickly. "Damnit." he said closing his eyes shut, knowing that it wasn't just the fact that he felt like he was losing his best friend. He was barely handling losing Sage, how the hell was he supposed to handle Mikey if he went? God the other night had been bad enough when he'd gotten the misreported news that Mikey had been dead and not just the way he was now. The sheer amount of pain that he felt in his chest could only really be described as being close to what he'd feel if he'd lost his sister, or parents, or Teddy. That was how much Brennan considered Mikey to be apart of his family.
Family.
Fuck.
Brennan felt his chest clench again over everything that had happened this morning. A woman that he'd slept with a while back...a very pregnant woman had come up to him claiming that the kids were his. Not being a stranger to this situation Brennan just did what he always did. Demand proof. Well...for once the timing actually worked out, along with a lot of other details. Like the fact that he remembered this, he actually remembered that he'd been caught up too much in the moment and had forgotten a rubber, protective charm work, or to pull out. Which was saying something considering Brennan was usually very good at remembering those things. And the only reason he remembered that last one was because that was about the time that her very angry husband came home and he'd dashed out the window as fast as he could leaving his cloths behind. That and she didn't fit any of the other types of women that had come to demand that their kids were his. A short magical paternity test later...congratulations Brennan, you're going to be a daddy. And oh yeah, they were giving Brennan full custody of the kids for so many reasons that Brennan had really stopped listening to each stupid one, so now there was all of that to deal with. And by the way, the kids were due next month. Surprise. Happy birthday to him.
"Mike, man...you got to wake up." he said rubbing his hands over his face. "I need you to be here." he started letting a few tears leak out onto his cheeks just tired of fighting them. "I know this this selfish of me. I know that. But...not just for me, man." he shook his head trying to explain something that he wasn't sure was even really being heard or processed. "Bates is a fuckin' wreck. They had to start redirecting all of the owls that yer fans have been sendin' in. Just...I know, 'm being selfish." he shook his head and rubbed his face again. "'m going to be a dad Mike." he finally admitted out loud, something he'd been unable to do for the past several hours. "A dad." he said with a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "You were right. Da was right. Everyone was feckin' right." he said a little louder as he raised and lowered one of his arms, it slapping against his thigh. "I fucked up and now I get to have kids. Raise them on me own and try not to mentally scar 'em too badly. I need you around ta help me not do that. They need ta know their Uncle Mikey, so that they have another damn good influence in their lives. Because they're gunna need all they can get." he said pointing to his chest as he started to pace a little more. "And yer one of the best ones I can think of." Any more he wasn't even aware how much his volume was shifting up and down as he spoke. "Please Mikey. I need you. I need you ta tell me that this is all going ta be okay, and get me ta laugh about this. Tell me that this is goin' ta be fun and that this is some blessin' in disguise or somethin'." he shrugged his shoulders and turned around for a moment.
"FUCKIN' BASTARDS!" he yelled no longer caring if anyone heard him. "I swear Mikey that if I find out who the fuck did this ta you..." a sheer unadulterated rage washed over Brennan and he couldn't even see straight or really feel anything until a sharp pain went through his arm as he pulled out his giant fist from the wall that he'd just put it in. A long line of cursing followed as he started crying even harder over the fact that he could do nothing, nothing to help his friend right now. This wasn't his fight. This wasn't a bludger he could save him from. This wasn't a bully he could just pick up and toss aside. He crumpled down against the wall he'd just hit and brought his knees up to his chest and cradled his hand as he put his head against his knees and cried. He realized that sooner or later someone would have heard that and the Healer would be sent in. He'd get his hand fixed, give the hospital more than enough money to cover what he'd just done, but it wouldn't do anything to fix how broken and angry he felt on the inside.