She knew Thomas, probably better than anyone in the world. She could read uncertainty and confusion radiating from him, and she cuddled him closer. One hand reached up and smoothed back his hair, generally doing everything she knew to relax him and make him feel better without actually speaking.
"I love you too, Tommy," she told him, using the nickname only she could ever get away with using. "So much it makes my heart hurt sometimes." And it did, it ached dreadfully, especially when she considered that what she wanted might make him go away. She truly didn't know how she would function without Thomas in her life.
She hated hearing him sound like that. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck, an excellent place to hide the expression of pain the tone engendered. Thomas wasn't supposed to sound defeated.
"I want it," she whispered. "I want you both." There was a faint note of apology in her voice. "I don't want to not try and regret it all my life." But she didn't want him to hate himself or her for this. "Would it really be so horrible for you?" She looked up at him with large eyes, earnest and full of concern.