She didn't want to look at him, didn't want to see the reassurances he had for her. "That curse wasn't aimed toward anyone, Nathan. Though it wasn't entirely my fault, my actions directly put him into the path of that curse."
Her eyes slipped closed when he kissed her, light and gentle. She kept her eyes closed as he spoke. She shook her head, sniffling against his chest. "I know it was an accident. I know that I shouldn't blame myself. But, the fact is, he died as a direct result of my actions."
Mandy sighed. Nathan didn't understand. This was why she'd never told anyone before. She knew they would all say the things Nathan was saying, that it wasn't her fault and she shouldn't blame herself. It was easier said than done, though, because she knew that if she'd just gotten to safety, her father would still be alive.
"Stop. Please, just stop," she said in a thick voice. "I didn't tell you, looking for reassurances that it wasn't my fault. I told you because you trusted me with your secrets, and I want you to know that I trust you with mine. I can't change the past, Nathan, and I can't change the way I feel about it."