"There is. And an elevator, put in a few years back by one of our more thoughtful patrons. Be glad I'm kind and didn't just point to the stairs."
He took the time to point out the major sites.
"The Bar is somewhat mad, but her bartender for the time being is a fair man and so she will not poison you and usually gets your order correct. This is not always so, so it makes sense to know the bartender.
"That door leads to the outside, where you will find bits and pieces of your world and others. A rather powerful sorcerer left a continuing bit of magic I still haven't figured out. But there is a field, a lake, and other things in the distance. I have even heard of a desert beyond the mountains.
"That way is the cells, where we will put you if you break the rules I haven't told you yet, or if you annoy the staff just a little too much. They are watched over by the Security team which, at the moment, consists of myself, a vampire, and a fallen angel. I'm sure you will meet the other two soon if we can get them down from their rooms."
He gave a long suffering look before continuing.
"You are welcome to use the hot tub in the corner, don't knock over the fort outside as it belongs to the Second Coming, and the pool table has two broken legs held up by books and don't ask me about it because it's not my fault."
He took another drag.
"The bar will give you a key to a room if you ask, but I recommend taking care with the other doors you might see. They don't all lead to rooms. And by the way, when I say 'the bar', I do mean the counter. She's sentient. Hence the madness."
He paused for a minute.
"Did I for--oh yes, the rules. No violence, to the patrons or the counter. No grudges brought in from the past. And if it's going to go into the realm of NC17, you'd better have a cloaking device or bring it upstairs. I don't care as long as you don't scare the occasional children."