*genuinely surprised* Well, first of all— *takes a deep breath* I— I'm— *chickening out* You're awfully sloppy, sir.
*trying to ascertain how to put this in terms you'll understand* I mean, you were a king once. I remember I bet there was a time when you didn't let it all hang out, right? *bites her lip* The way you carry yourself isn't very...dignified. You're a good-looking guy for a dad. Dress a little smarter. Learn a little etiquette. *studiously not looking around the apartment* Maybe tidy now and then.
*can't help hating herself a little bit for this sort of speech*