*throws her arms around your neck, effectively tackling you to the floor and falling on top of you*
*bursts into tears just like a Real Girl!*
*sobbing* It- it w- was storeb- storebought oh Dad I'm so sorry too I love you I don't care if your sw- swimmers are dead or my womb is r- rotted nothing can ever taste as rotten as that st- store- *can't say the word again, just CAN'T*