*is, at this moment, at some up-and-comer's opening in an art gallery in town (he just invited himself in and everyone seems so confused nice!)*
*has been staring at the same painting for a solid twenty minutes now, sipping enough mystery drinks plucked from trays to be drunk enough to be almost lucid at this point*
*takes out his cell phone, finds the entry marked "Spoon", and dials*