*rolls his eyes ceilingward* Oh, don't go there. I had a girlfriend once who decided she was fat, so she went on this grass salad diet. Literally, she ate grass. *rests a hand high on your chest, fingers tracing your collarbones through your shirt* The moral of the story is, I'd better never catch you eating grass. You're sort of perfect is all.
*shrugs slightly* But anyway. I told them the closest thing I've got to a pet name is 'Jackie Lee'. Which they already knew about, so no big deal.