*laughs and thinks of all the sprouts he has to make cookies for (individually personalized, even)* Oh, God, no, not mine. Big family, remember? I've got a whole truckload of little cousins, if you add up all the sides of the family.
*reasonably enough, even if he can't keep the grin from creeping in* Well, I still can't see you sitting around doing paperwork all day, so I figure you must be brainwashed. Did they tie you to a chair, tape your eyelids open, and make you watch "educational videos"?