*unsympathetic* Oh, yeah, sure, that was a pretty skillful drive-by mauling you gave that fire hydrant, never mind my wall. Puts the dumb in dumb luck, I swear.
*satisfied that you're relatively unharmed, pokes you again (with less force) and keeps her finger pressed to your shoulder for a second, just to be sure she has your attention* Don't. fucking. do that. again. 'Kay? (*which is as much of a lecture as you'll get, but that doesn't mean you should take it lightly*)