...What. Seriously? You seriously don't know. Like, you're not kidding here. *waits a moment for you to interject some kind of deadpan comment, and sounds vaguely disturbed, perhaps even a bit apologetic, when none is forthcoming* Uh. Oh, shit. How's that even possible, though? I mean, it's just...
*trails off and pauses again, even longer this time*
Shit, man, I can't just come out and say it. It's, you know. It's just too—well, yeah. *clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable* Just... go turn on the TV. Channel three news.