*barely hears the soft, startled oh! escape his lips (because he thought the decision was made) and barely registers the relief (because he is afraid to die)*
*casts a glance over at the bottles and frowns because he is not supposed to drink anymore and is it so very funny that he should be thinking about lessons learned in rehab while on Death's door?* (*although, really, Death is on his door and he does not remember inviting you in*)
*breathes out slowly (oh, Eru, he is still breathing and it still hurts) and understands one thing at least and that is that he has to get out* I ... *looks down at the paper and pen still in his lap* I'm leaving Gondolin.