They were squeaking sugar mice. It was very amusing! It isn't my fault if someone is so ridiculous they shriek and dance about at the sight of sugar mice running about. Of course professors never see it that way. I don't see why if they insist on punishing someone they can't just do that without the attendant tedious lecture. The things you did don't sound too terrible. Except perhaps the medicine.
How did you come back from the dead? That's rather impressive no matter who did it.
It was unfair to her, but it was too risky. I'd get in a bit of trouble if I were caught sneaking out of school to go to the pub, but a girl would likely be expelled for it.
I'm afraid that doesn't make any sense to me at all.