He isn't a healer - he's a doctor. I looked him up. People without magic don't have as much choice if he specializes.
All I can say is that it gets better but unfortunately, it takes time, and it isn't worth attempting to "fix" them. They'll just mock you.
Depending on the era, it can be much easier to get away with murder. They can be very good at pretending to love their families though I would not disagree that perhaps there are some that do and aren't murdering monsters. I just haven't heard of that many when they're what we call "control freaks."