Vampires
If you ever go home, you should expand your travels to the world. You will learn so much. I regret never making it to ancient China...
You can't get rid of it, no, but you can control it. Control will soothe your mind. I have killed many more than you could dream of - men, women, children, whole villages. It isn't something I am proud of but I have made myself better and you can do the same. You do not have to stay as you are.