Who: Necrosis & Jan What: A serious talk about his past When:After this (back dated) Where: Everdale Woods Warnings: Talk of death, genera angst, mentions of suicide, abuse, matricide & torture Status: Complete
Necrosis flew over the woods. His stomach twisted in knots as he watched the ground below him. He was anxious, he could never deny that. He liked Jan a lot, and he desperately hoped she would run from him. He was afraid. This wasn't like telling Azrael. But… even Azrael didn't know everything he'd done. Necrosis was afraid to tell him too. It was different to open up and tell someone from the outside. It was hard. But Jan had such an innocent perception of him that he felt terrible.
His wings beat down as he spotted her. His shadow passed over her as he made a quick turn and dove down. His wings casted a gust as he landed. He folded them tightly against his back. “Hey Jan.” His voice was hopeful, but it held sadness in it. His stomach twisted tighter. He hoped she would listen to the end. -- As soon as she had agreed to meet him somewhere, Jan was off like a shot. She didn’t even think about what she was wearing or if she needed to bring anything as she only had one person in mind for the moment and that was Necrosis.
His initial message had surprised her and she had just looked at her screen, wondering what might have brought up this serious topic. Jan wasn’t used to things being serious; when it was time to get down to business, it was easy to just blow things up and go back to her naps in the library or dance at Club A. But she had a feeling that this wasn’t an instance where she could just blow something else and go back to normal. Necrosis seemed to think it was going to be a relationship changing conversation.
What was up with that? Between him and Aaron, Jan wasn’t sure why they were so nervous or hesitant to share their history. That was part of becoming friends, right? She knew she couldn’t force anyone to tell their story and she wouldn’t want to! But she figured, if they became close friends, it would eventually come out. And a good friend stood behind their new friends, despite what their past may hold.
At least that’s what she told herself as she flew over the woods of Everdale, looking for a good spot to meet Necrosis. She remembered something he had said at the fair and the way he always spoke of his siblings and the past; what was it that could be so terrible? Would it change her perspective of him?
Don’t be silly...this is Necrosis we’re talking about!” She landed in a nice clearing, shooting him a text with her location. Necrosis...whoever he might have been, that’s not who he is now...right? She guessed she would see soon enough.
She glanced up as a shadow passed over her, her heart thumping before she realized it was him. As he landed, she smiled and gave him a small wave, not sure how to act right now. “Hey Necrosis,” she said. She debated about rushing over to hug him, to let him know that everything was going to be ok. But was it? For now, she just stood in front of him, her arms hugging each other in front of her.
There was a moment of awkward silence and she looked down as she scuffed the toe of her shoe in the grass. “You know...you had said something when we were out at the carnival, when you were learning how to use the chopsticks?” She grinned, looking up at him, remembering that moment. “You said you were born into jail?” Maybe that would be a good starting point for them. He had already shared that information, now it was time to dive in deeper. -- “Yeah…” Necrosis remembered that moment. His wings shuffled and he rubbed the back of his neck. Necrosis took off the silver circlet that had constantly rested on his head. He turned it in his hands nervously. “I was born into slavery. Well I wasn't ever born, I was created… but I was created to serve. Me and my siblings didn't have rights back in Caelenta….” He started off on the basic information. He didn't look at her.
“So yeah… I served the archangel who created me, Oracle. She was basically my mom.” Necrosis's voice got soft. He had mixed memories of Oracle. Some were very good, like her petting his hair and teaching him to fly. Some were very bad, like her breaking his spine as a punishment. “She wasn't all bad… but she wasn't very good either…”
“I don't know if I told you or if you know, but I am a necromancer. I can resurrect the dead, but I can also cause one's flesh to rot…” Necrosis paused a moment, he glanced up at her hoping she wouldn't be too put off. He looked back down at his hands, “She pointed and I did as I was told. I remember as a kid, my brother destroyed a whole ring… he wiped out an entire class of angel. And I was told to follow him and resurrect archangels that she wanted me to.” He trailed off as his face looked lost. He could remember everything like it happened yesterday.
“So that's the answer to that question… I was born into slavery and a mausoleum became my jail.” Necrosis summed up. He bit his lip and sighed, “I don't want you to think me as a monster… but I also just want to tell someone about my past… I can't keep it inside anymore… I've been quiet for so long but it's so hard without my siblings…” Necrosis started to cry. He wiped his eyes and his wings fluffed up. They reached forward hugged his shoulders like a self hug. -- Jan couldn’t help it; as soon as the tears started to flow, she walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. “Necrosis…” This was serious. Not that she didn’t already know that, but he had just started with his story and he was already in tears. Her heart went out to him and she pulled back just slightly to try and catch his eye. “Hey, it’s alright! It’s alright, you’re here and I’m here! And...I know it’s not close to your siblings, but I’m not gonna leave you either.” She looked up at him and smiled, giving him a bit of a squeeze to encourage him to continue.
“I don’t think you’re a monster Necrosis,” she said as she tried to keep her voice low and calming. This wasn’t the time for her to do her usual over-the-top screeching or expressions. No, Necrosis needed a friend and Jan was determined to prove to him she was just that. “You couldn’t help the circumstances you were brought into, right?” She could tell by his tone that his “mother” didn’t seem to the stereotypical type, but he had said she wasn’t that bad so Jan could only hope it was true. She knew there were different definitions of family and this was what Necrosis had experienced; maybe she could show him it could be better than that.
“You had kinda told me about your abilities.” She remembered back to his comment about rotting feathers and wondered if that had something to do with it. She started to feel herself getting upset; using a person in such a way was not a form of love and she was starting to change her mind about this “mother” of his. But she took a breath and tried to calm herself down. She was here to support him and she didn’t think slamming his mother would be a good or supportive thing to do.
“It’s ok,” she said again, only thinking to soothe him and make him feel more at ease with their situation and to continue opening up to her. “You only have to tell me however much you’re ok with.” She didn’t move away, but stayed next to him, thinking the physical comfort would help him relax as he opened up to her. -- Necrosis looked at her quietly. He studied her eyes through his tears. She was comforting, and he appreciated her hugs. He nodded softly before wiping his eyes again. With a sniff he looked down at his circlet again, “Where I’m from our halos take a physical shape…” He changed the subject as he tried to gather his thoughts again, “I’m the only angel of destruction to have a halo.” He motioned to the circlet in his hand. “I don’t really feel like I deserve it… but I have it. I’ve done a lot of stuff I’m not proud of Jan. I said it before, a lot of it was done on orders… but that doesn’t excuse it. I’ve killed angels, watched them rot away until they were only bone. I’ve resurrected bad angels… I’ve been on the sidelines of wars and watched that destruction…” He trailed off again.
“I… I.. I’ve tortured angels before. My siblings.” He started to say but paused again, he avoided her gaze. “Angels of destruction can only be harmed by another angel of destruction or by Oracle. She would use us to punish each other when we misbehaved or went against orders…” He paused. He could feel the phantom pain of Desolation’s grip on his wing. After that break it healed enough to allow him to fly, but it never healed back properly. He’d always had preening problems.
He was still skirting the edge of telling her all the details. They were gritty and gross. The punishments he’d endured, gave, the fate of all his siblings, his friends, his mother. It swirled in his head and made him feel sick again. “I heard everything that happened. I can’t be put to sleep, I’ve been awake for a millenia… When we started the civil war, I saw everything. I remember Desolation getting revenge on who’d abused us. I remember seeing my siblings die. I saw all of them but two, Judgement and Auroralis. They’d both committed suicide.” He paused after that. His tears started to surge up again. He was so heartbroken and mad at Judgement. He didn’t even get to say goodbye. His story trailed off as he rubbed away the tears on his face again. -- The more he talked, the more she could heard the hurt, sadness, and regret in his voice. She frowned, thinking the family he spoke of sounded more like a team. She could still understand the close relationships he had had with them; she felt like it was exactly the same as the ones she had made at the academy. While they may not have been related (at least not all of them), they still had their complicated relationships that made them the family they had built together for the few years they had together.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered again, wondering how many times she would have to say that throughout their conversation. In response, her arm snaked around his waist and she pulled herself closer to him for comfort. For herself or for him, she wasn’t 100% sure.
Still, the situations and things he spoke of didn’t sit well with her. How could it? She knew war’s were inevitable and you always had to take a side...but something must have happened to make Necrosis regret the path he was on.
“I’m guessing that you not following her orders would only lead to your own punishment, right?” Her fists clenched into a fist and she closed her eyes. What sort of angel would ask that of another? “How did you receive your halo?” She opened her eyes, focusing on the thing circle he held in his hands. It was better to center herself on something else before she blew up one of the trees that surrounded them.
“You came here.” She looked up at him. “Were you escaping your situation?” -- “Yeah… Disobedience was met with punishment.” He replied quietly. He felt her gaze on his face, but he didn’t return it. “My halo? I was created with it. The angels of my world all get their halos when they are born. It materializes out of their magic.”
He sighed and wiped away the fresh tears. His head was hurting, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the crying or his swirling thoughts. “No. I came to Preya because I ended my situation.” He paused to take a breath, “I am the last angel of Caelenta. Everyone and everything else is dead or petrified and the magic of the world is gone.” He explained quietly.
“I ended everything… It haunts me… Everything I’ve done… I can’t get rid of it, I can’t let it go. I killed her.. Oracle. She asked me the first time. What kind of a mother makes her son kill her…” He sounded even more lost than before. “The second time I was so mad… Desolation was dead. He got stabbed right in front of me. I watched the life leave his eyes. And I killed the ones responsible. Oracle… Lukos… even my sister Kin. I remember it all…” He sounded pained. He was, he hated remembering it all. It was something that never left him. His family was gone and all he had left where the memories- the good and the bad. -- Jan’s hands moved to rub his back before she remembered his wings and stopped, making sure not to touch them in her act of comfort. She knew that it wasn’t his dislike of the sensation, but more the surprise of it. Besides, she felt like his wings were a very personal part to him, she didn’t want to overstep her boundaries. Still, as his story and truth came spilling out, she felt helpless to try and comfort him, to try and tell him that things were alright. Because they weren’t. They hadn’t been. The only thing she could think of to try and support him was to think about the future, not the past. There was too much sadness in that.
Despite what she might have gathered about his family, Jan knew that the things he had done...had been forced to do were difficult. No wonder he wanted to come to Preya; of all the second chances, Necrosis seemed like the one who deserved it the most.
“I’m sorry you lost your family,” she said softly. “But...I’m happy you’re here.” She tried to catch his eye again and she faltered on keeping things positive. She didn’t know how much of what she said was coming off as empty comfort or if he could tell she was genuinely wanting to be supportive of him. “I mean...you’ll be able to have a new life here...a better life. One where you don’t have to worry about someone telling you what to do, especially when it’s something you don’t want to do or know is wrong!” She couldn’t fault him for what he had done to survive. If he hadn’t, he would have been the one buried with the rest of his family.
The thought made her shiver and she hugged him again. Maybe it was for the best that he didn’t sleep, otherwise she could only imagine the nightmares he would have. “Necrosis...you aren’t the person they made you think you are. You’re better than that...I just hope you know that.” -- He looked at her when she’d stopped talking. His blue eyes looked all red and puffy. He watched her face for a moment. She was right and he had to tell himself that. Preya was different, he’d chosen a new path. What happened in Caelenta was over. His eyes remained on her face as he gathered his thoughts.
His wing slowly opened and encased Jan in softness. He hesitantly hugged her back, pulling her close against his chest. Her presence felt comforting, but he couldn’t deny the lagging guilt. He shouldn’t have put her through this, but he was happy she hadn’t left him. Jan could feel his feathers fluff up and tickle the back of her neck.
“Thank you… I’m not that kind of angel. I know I’m not… I just can’t keep it away… It… It feels good to get it off my chest. Out of my head.” He mumbled, his voice was barely a whisper. It did feel great to get it out of his mind. Just to confide in someone else was a relieving feeling. He felt vulnerable, but also trusting. He trusted Jan to listen and she did. “Thank you for listening to me…” Maybe he’d tell her more if she asked, but right now he felt like he’d told her enough. -- She was surprised and selfishly comforted when his wings enfolded her. This was the second time it had happened and she couldn’t help but love the sensation. It was soft and fluffy and she let out a giggle as she felt some of the feathers brush against her neck. She could only hope that his hug back meant he was feeling at least a bit better. When he confirmed it, she smiled, looking up at him. She had to imagine they made a fairly funny spectacle to look at with their difference in height, but it didn’t matter in this moment. She didn’t feel like she had really done anything to help him, but she felt him relax as well as his tone soften. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask more questions, sensing that this may be a better way to end their time tonight. She wanted it to end on an up note, not bring up more things for him to think about. While he said he didn’t sleep, she knew she would feel sleep soon enough and didn’t want him to be up with all the ghosts of the past and no one to help him stave them off.
She stood on her tiptoes, taking his arm and gently pulling him down so she could give him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll always listen! And it won’t change my mind about you either.” She looked him in the eyes as she said that, wanting him to see she was being genuine and true. It had taken a lot for him to open up to her like this and while a lot of it was puzzling or upsetting to her, she knew that wasn’t who he was, who she had met for the first time at Van Dyne’s. -- Necrosis savored the hug in his own way. He didn’t mind the fact she only hit his chest, he found it cute. Her giggle took him by surprise, but made him chuckle at the fact she was laughing. He was glad that she could still laugh after that. He was worried he’d kill the tone of their relationship, but he hadn’t. Necrosis let go of her with one arm to wipe his eyes. He didn’t want to cry on Jan.
He started to let go and stand up taller when Jan pulled on him. Her kiss caught him by surprise and it turned his cheeks red. His wings puffed up again. His eyes looked like a lovestruck teen’s. He blinked and got shy. He stood up and put his halo back on again, “Heh… thanks Jan..” He looked back at her with a soft smile and a cute blushing face, “I really appreciate that you listened to me… It means a lot to be able to confide in someone.” He said with a genuine tone that was full of trust, vulnerability, and assurance.