Narcissa Black (blonde_black) wrote in onewaythreads, @ 2019-02-08 20:20:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, andromeda black, narcissa malfoy |
Who: Andromeda Black & Narcissa Malfoy
What: Calling home
When: Wednesday, January 23
Where: Malfoy Residence, Everdale
Rating: Low
Status: Complete
Phoning home had been a mistake. Of that, Andromeda was absolutely certain, even though she didn’t actually regret it. She didn’t know how else to explain her feelings other than painful. The conversation between herself and Ted had not gone over the way she had expected. Or maybe subconsciously she had expected it to go exactly the way it had gone, either way, she had spent the majority of the previous afternoon in tears once the call had dropped at the ninety-minute mark.
This morning she needed to be comforted. Back home Ted would have done so, but here? Who did she really have that she could ask to even just let her weep on their shoulder? Nymphadora was out of the question for reasons which included, he was her father. Peeta might have been a good sounding board, but she didn’t want to drag him down when he was happy. Jan, would merely be able to say vague things to give encouragement. Lily, would have likely called her daft. Alina, was still too new a friend. And Fakir? That was a whole other complication.
Narcissa, she decided. It was perhaps a mistake, but what on earth did having one’s sister in a place like this mean if she could not ask of Narcissa the same thing that was asked of her. Andromeda was ready to go before long, bundled and looking very much the opposite of 1972, thanks to Jan’s tutelage.
A few minutes later, Andromeda was at her sister’s door, fixing the scarf around her neck unnecessarily as she waited for the door to be opened. What she was going to say, she wasn’t entirely sure yet. Somehow, in the whole time she was preparing for the trip, she had managed to forget to think of how she was going to convince her sister to let her be upset.
--
Despite her earlier resolution to be more social, this afternoon found her at home with little Bella on her lap. There was an open book on the table next to them, but Narcissa was more preoccupied with attacking the smallest and most perfect little toe’s. A house-elf came running up to her, telling her that her sister was at the door. Narcissa’s heart flipped, excitement and uncertainty coursing through her. She called for Dilly, handing her Bella and asking her to put her down for her afternoon nap. She smoothed her skirt down and walked towards the door, answering it herself.
“Andromeda.” Her tone was cool, a questioning look in her eye. Something didn’t seem right and she reached out to her, the look in her eye softening. “What’s wrong?”
--
What Andromeda was going to reply to that very question, she still hadn’t managed to decide. She had mostly been standing outside telling herself how stupid this whole idea was, staring at the snow on the ground under her boots. Narcissa didn’t even like Ted. She might have been happy to hear that the telephone conversation had served to rip her sister’s wounds right open again.
“Um,” she started, trying to decide what she wanted to say or do, or even what she may have liked from this interaction. Andromeda’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she simply sighed, her shoulders falling. “I need a hug.”
That had, perhaps, been the most honest thing that Andromeda had ever said to her younger sister. The tears weren’t far behind after that, and she looked up to keep the water in her eyes from spilling out. Why quaffle sized lumps decided to take up residence in her throat, she would never know, but she might have liked it if they vacated.
--
Narcissa was taken aback by her sisters honest answer, but she was quick to pull her into a hug, her chin resting on Andromeda’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?” she asked again, her voice a bit more soothing and welcoming than it had been when she first opened the door. She and Andromeda had gotten along fairly well during their time in Preya, but it wasn’t as if they had suddenly become the best of friends. Andromeda was there for her and Bella, something that felt like a natural occurrence rather than a big, out of character response. Narcissa was secretly hoping that they could fall into a sense of normalcy without bring up the past, but she knew that was just wishful thinking. As Aunt Cassiopeia kept reminding, there was history there that needed to be addressed.
But this, perhaps, was not the best time for it.
“Come in, it’s too chilly out.” Narcissa pulled back, taking Andromeda’s arm to guide her inside. A thousand thoughts were going through her mind, but she had to remind herself that she needed to be there for her sister; this was her moment to show Andromeda that she wanted to have a thriving relationship with her sister, that they could make it work here.
“Would you care for some tea?”
--
The tears were starting again, even without much prompting. Andromeda had spent a good portion of the last day crying since she had hung up from the call with Ted Tonks. He hadn’t understood, and on some level, she figured he might not. He was too stubborn, which was in part what she liked about him. That tenacity had appealed to her, particularly every time she had ever told him off. Now though, Andromeda’s eyes were puffy and she thought a little raw from having tissues wipe at them.
“No,” she managed with a shake of her head. She wouldn’t have drank it anyway, and she would have felt bad for having bothered the house elf to make it. Wiping at her eyes, she let Narcissa lead her through to where they were going. Realistically, Andromeda was afraid of explaining to her younger sister what it was that had her upset. She knew her feelings toward the subject where she had come from, but here? Here she felt they had made some kind of progress. They were both trying, despite the guards they seemingly had for different reasons.
“I am terribly sorry,” she said, talking absentmindedly more than anything. “I just could not think of anyone else that I could say things to like I could with you.” It was a bit of a stretch, but one that Andromeda had very much hoped to shorten the distance of.
--
Narcissa lead her through the entryway into the lounge, settling her in one of the over plush armchairs. She felt like she needed to cover her sister with a blanket, offer something stronger than tea, but it seemed too familiar, despite the fact this was one of her older sisters. She paused for a second, taking in what she had said. Could not think of anyone else that I could says things to like I could with you. Was that true? Had she been able to let go of the past and find a way to actually create a familiar relationship with Narcissa?
“That’s...a very nice sentiment, Andromeda.” She truly didn’t know what to say in regards to that. As much as she wanted to believe her, what had they been able to talk about in Preya that made her feel this way? They hadn’t even spoken to what had separated the two of them, patched up and filled in the gaps of their past.
“I’m happy you feel that way,” she hurried on, not wanting her to feel as if she weren’t open to the idea that they could have that kind of relationship.
Despite her sister saying no to tea, Narcissa still summoned an elf and asked for them to bring out a pot of hot tea and some biscuits. She may not want it now, but who knew if that would change as the two of them talked.
Once that had been settled, Narcissa sat in a chair next to her sister, turning slightly so she could look at her.
“What has happened?”
--
Andromeda had mostly wanted a better relationship with her sisters, or at least with Narcissa, as Bellatrix was a bit of a lost cause. In fact, she had lost so much respect for her older sister that she had a hard time consolidating the woman Bella said she was, and the woman Bella actually was. Neither of that was here or there as she sat in the chair that Narcissa had all by deposited her into. She sighed and stared at the floor, her back straight as if she were waiting for her mother to criticize something, and hands folded neatly in her lap.
“I know this is not a subject you like,” she started, avoiding her sister’s eyes and basically everything else. Her own voice sounded so distant, and Andromeda couldn’t help the water that was welling in her eyes. Thankfully she was able to hold it back, even though all she wanted to do was actually go back to crying.
“The King, or… who ever is in charge here offered… opportunities to contact home.” She explained because she wasn’t sure if Narcissa had heard, not that she had anyone except maybe Bella to reach out to back home. “I-I called Ted.”
The name carried far more weight than it ought to within the circles of anyone who was named Black, and Andromeda paused, waiting to listen for a reaction. Annoyance, exasperation, anything.
--
As soon as Andromeda had said the name, Narcissa couldn’t help but sigh. She looked down at her hands grasped in her lap, thinking back to the conversation she had had with Cassiopeia. She had asked if Andromeda would truly change or feel differently and Narcissa had countered with time would tell. It seemed the time would be sooner rather than later.
Still, she couldn’t be too surprised by the statement. This was the man Andromeda had left her family for. There was some kind of connection between the two of them and Narcissa pushed away the thought that she might have actually come to care about him. That it was more than just a rebellious streak and that there were actual feelings involved. In a way, Narcissa prayed that it would be otherwise. If feelings were involved, that complicated things.
Still, if she had called to speak to Ted, why was she in such a state as now? She glanced at her sister, seeing that she was observing her carefully, waiting to see her reactions. Well, it shouldn’t have been a surprise. From the start Narcissa hadn’t liked the boy. But then again, neither had the family. But it may have been for separate reasons.
“And how did that conversation go?” she asked, her tone a bit snarky and short.
--
The snarky tone was exactly the reaction that Andromeda had expected, and she wasn’t disappointed. With a sigh, she looked down again at the hands she had folded in her lap. It had gone about as well as she could have expected. His mother hadn’t wanted to give him the phone because it was her. Really, Andromeda couldn’t blame her. If she had been in that position, she would have hesitated as well.
What Andromeda wanted to tell her sister was that she missed him. That she had spent the greater portion of the day before crying over an hour and a half long conversation that was the last one she would actually have with the man. That he had had the gall to say he wasn’t going to stop until he found her wherever Preya was.
“He said mother and father suggested my disappearance was due to my having caught dragon pox rather suddenly, and not having made a recovery.” At that, she actually smiled a little. Her parents were just wonderful storytellers.
--
Well, that was a surprise. Not what their parents had said, but the fact that her disappearance was noted from her time. From what Narcissa had gathered, it seemed that even if people were to leave their own time, there was still a succession that happened back home. How else could you explain Draco or Nymphadora?
“I didn’t realize he was still in touch with the family.” Alright, so the snark was very heavy. But could you blame her? Ted Tonks was the reason Andromeda got blasted from the family tapestry. What Narcissa had thought to be a rebellious streak in her sister turned out to be something more, something stronger. And she didn’t like it.
Not to mention that she might have felt the tiniest bit jealous of him. He was able to give Andromeda something that her family obviously couldn’t, even her sisters. Narcissa never liked to think of herself as lacking, but it appeared she was wrong on Andromeda’s part.
“Come Andromeda, that can’t be the reason you are so upset.” No, despite their distance, Narcissa knew her sister better than that. She took a breath as the house-elf came in with their tray, setting it on the table in front of Narcissa and bowing its way out of the room.
“You came here because you felt comfortable speaking to me.” About this topic, I don’t know why was the sentiment that was not said out loud. “What happened with your phone call?”
--
“I just miss my best friend,” Andromeda answered, unable to hold back the tears as she looked up at the ceiling. At the end of the day, that was what had bothered her more than anything about their conversation. More than his declarations of love, more than the vows to find her wherever Preya was, more than even her own pushing and shoving him at that bint from the bookshop she was deathly jealous of.
“I know you dislike him, hate him, for so many reasons.” She paused there, swallowing the enormous lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, and wiping hastily at the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks. She kept trying to remind herself that her family were full of emotional cripples, the only one with even the slightest hint of emotion, was Narcissa. And Narcissa may have probably been more uncomfortable with the tears and the subject than anything else. Maybe having had Belladora had softened her a bit, and the only thing Andromeda was really seeking was to be told that things would work out. “But he was my lifeline, and I miss the silliness. I miss the kindness. I miss… that companionship.”
--
Narcissa pursed her lips together as she listened to Andromeda, biting her tongue from speaking right away. She had to mentally remind herself that, despite her assurances to Aunt Cassi, she wanted to put in equal effort to make this work. She certainly knew how she felt from her point of view, but was trying (with difficulty) to understand hers. She listened to all she had to say before asking her sister one question.
“Why do you believe I...dislike him?” She didn’t look at her sister as she asked the question, but moved forward in her chair to prepare a cup of tea for herself and Andromeda. She had changed the subject just slightly, wanting to know if Andromeda knew her true feelings towards Ted.
--
There were plenty of reasons, Andromeda thought to herself as she took a deep breath and tried to stop herself from crying. For the most part, she had managed to do so, or at least, she wasn’t sobbing anymore. Now it was just the one off tear that rolled down her cheek every so often. Narcissa’s question seemed entirely disingenuous to her, and the older girl’s face clearly conveyed that. It was probably for the best then that Narcissa had busied herself.
“This was a mistake,” she said out loud with a firm nod and stood. Her hand quickly wiped away another tear and she swallowed another lump from her throat. “Never mind, I apologize for the intrusion.”
--
Narcissa shouldn’t have been as surprised by Andromeda’s sudden change of mind, but she still looked shocked as she stood and apologized. “Really Andromeda, you came all the way here to just leave?” She stood with her as well, the tea forgotten for now. “I ask you a simple question to try and get a better sense of your judgement of me and you turn and run? I thought we were making quite a good show and had hoped that there was more to it than saving face for the rest of the family.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true. If Narcissa had truly wanted to stay in the good graces of the family here in Preya, she would have let Andromeda leave and told Cassiopeia about it later.
But no, she stood and reached out to her sister, taking her hand. “Please stay Andromeda. I simply asked a question because I believe you think my feelings towards him are for one thing and not another.”
--
Had the situation had been less emotionally charged, things may have been different. She should have gone to anyone she had met here that did not carry the Black name. Actually, the more she thought of it, that was exactly what she should have done. It was hypocritical of her to have told Sirius and Regulus to work out their relationship when she couldn’t do the same. There was just too much bitterness and resentment in her, and her anger rose. What she should have done was exactly what ended up happening in the real world, and the original plan when she had come here. She should have severed all ties and gone about her business.
“You asked a disingenuous question,” she answered, trying to control her temper and taking her hand back. “What would you have me say, Narcissa? You hate him because he is not like Lucius or Rodolphus? Because he did not come from a family whose magical line you can trace back five generations? Because you were taught that that somehow made him less than? Because he ruined the perfect image you had in your head of what your family should look like? Bellatrix and Rodolphus, you and Lucius, me and who ever made me utterly miserable. Did you dislike him for making me hap-”
She paused before finishing the word and took a deep breath. She hadn’t meant to start a fight, but she couldn’t help feeling the need to defend something as simple as having fallen in love. How was it possible that true affection, kindness, and compassion were traits that could be so easily scorned by any living beings?
Again the tears filled her eyes, but this time she glanced upwards and willed them to stay in place. “I am very sorry that I wanted more than duty. Perhaps you could have been fulfilled in a loveless marriage, to someone you did not even esteem, but I could not. You may have been content to produce an heir with someone you did not love and raise them to be emotionally stunted because that was what was expected, but I could not. You may have been happy to let everyone know you were the very picture of a proper pureblooded woman, but I was screaming inside every moment and dying to get out.”
Was it dramatic? Absolutely. Did she regret any of it? Not in the slightest. She stood behind what she said, having the luxury in this moment of knowing the future as well as the past. Nymphadora was everything that Andromeda had hoped her children would be. Kind, compassionate, loving, and with a curiosity that seemed boundless and free. Squaring her shoulders, she smoothed down the front of her top, almost as if her mother were about to walk by and comment that it was hideous as she usually did. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
--
Narcissa tried to remain calm through her outburst, telling herself that this was typical Andromeda dramatics and that she had to be the bigger one in this instance. If not for this moment of renewal for the two of them, then for the years she had spent resenting and hating her sister for leaving the family.
“Andromeda.” Her name came out short and perhaps with a tinge of impatience. “Do you truly find yourself so selfish to believe I would dislike someone because they gave you something your family couldn’t give?” She swallowed a lump that was rising in her throat, refusing to give in to it. It wouldn’t do to have the two Black sisters crying in this moment. She had to hold on to her senses, to make her sister understand. “If you truly wish to leave after what I have to say, then please do. I had hoped for a better reconciliation, but it appears that some things are still the same, such as your flair for the dramatics.” Really, it could be a trait that the Black family possessed in some form or another. Still, it was an easy target.
She took her cup of tea she had made for herself, leaving Andromeda’s on the tray. If she cared for it, she could take. She settled herself on a plush armchair, crossing her legs and looking at her sister. “I was very fortunate to marry both for love and to help further our bloodline. I know not everyone is as lucky as Lucius and I.” She glared at her sister. “And I know some don’t see Lucius as the wonderful man he is, but I don’t need them to.” She looked down at her cup, a smile playing on her lips. “He loves me and I love him. He cares about his family and tries to protect them as best he can.” At least that’s what she told herself from the future she had been told.
Setting her cup down after a sip, she sighed, folding her hands in her lap. “I know that family life was...difficult for you. More than difficult. Probably more so than I really knew.” She had witnessed one or two incidents between her and their parents, but she had never spoken out. Before Hogwarts, she had minded her manners and kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn’t until after that she began to question and wonder.
“I don’t like Ted because I don’t like feeling guilty. I don’t like knowing that someone else was able to provide and love you when your family could not.”